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Reply To: Self esteem

Reply To: Self esteem2013-10-12T10:40:32+00:00

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@miguelangel – I have heard that theory about people with ADHD a couple of times. One of my best friends goes to a coach who says almost the exact same thing. The interesting thing is that in many ways people with ADHD are opposite to other people. And those skills can be very, very usful, if others recognize it. And if we ourselves recognize it.

I don’t think there is really one answer, one solution, for everyone with ADHD. I think it has to be taken on an individual basis. Some respond well to medication and some don’t. Some are not meant to be farmers, but then again some might thrive in that setting. It all depends on the individual, their personality and what intersets them.

@dithl – Your comments really strike a chord with me. So much like my own process.

I have always been seen as very shy and introverted. But I really am not. I am the life of the party- in my own mind. But the same thing happens to me in social situations. I can’t keep up, or I can’t remember enough details, or I just don’t have anything to say on the subject. And I really don’t get small talk. Most of the things people talk about just bore me. I don’t see the point of stating the obvious or going on and on about the mundane.

And I have done the exact same thing with going out and forcing myself to talk to people. Usually ends up being very awkward and weird. One time in the winter I was waiting for the bus and I decided to try chatting a bit with the other girl who was waiting. It went okay at first, taking about the weather and how much the bus service sucks. But then she just started to go on and on and I had nothing more to say. I ended up just stnading there mechanically nodding and saying “oh, yeah” over and over and desperately wishing that the bus would get there. By the time the bus arrived she had noticed that my eyes were glazing over and thankfully did not sit with me to continue the conversation.

Dropping the frozen turkey and then thinking the people in the park are laughing at you is something I would do too. Pro hoc ergo propter hoc – after this,  therefore because of this. It’s a logical fallacy common to all, but when you have low self esteem, it seems like everything is being caused by your actions.

And I don’t see the humour in those kinds of things when they do happen. Like when I was working in the coffee shop and I pulled the big cutting board out in the deli section to clean unerneath it. I dropped it, it made an enormous crash, and all the customers applauded and cheered. And I practically ran into the back to hide, my face turning red. I have always wished that instead of hiding I had taken a bow. Really, I had nothing to be embarrassed about. But my flight instinct instantly took over when I heard the laughter.

One of my favourite quotes is the one from Eleanor Roosevelt which I am sure we have all heard before:
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”

When it comes to self esteem, it really is all in your head. You have to accept that it’s not okay to be perfect. And don’t let others make you feel inferior. Because they aren’t perfect either. No one is.
And with that I really need to get going and do what I am supposed to be doing today. But I will post more on self esteem, as promised, sometime in the near future. Perhaps after the holiday.