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K/daddyrocks – I wish I could give you the answers you want but sadly I cannot.
But what resonates with me in your last post is your description of your actions and those of your 12 year old daughter. It triggered a memory of me at 12 and my poor Mother trying to ensure that I tidied my bedroom, got to school on time, brushed my teeth, had a shower…….. it sounds familiar. At that time I did not know I had ADD and neither did she. I was just a ‘dreamer’ and a bit ‘eccentric’. Despite that we had fun.
So my point? Well I finally matured – later than my peers, but it happened. I am very careful about personal hygiene now, although at 12 I probably had similar views to your daughter. Most children rebel about that sort of thing but they grow up and it all sorts itself out. Whilst I remember my Mother trying desperately to encourage me to live as she wanted me to do so, I believe the key influence was how SHE behaved and lived. Her constant example finally sunk into my consciousness and as an adult I know what is expected, what to do and how to live.
Maybe you should think about doing an experiment – just for a week initially. Why not stop what you call ‘nagging’ and just let them all get on with it. Run the house as usual, i.e. dinner at 5.30 etc. but just force yourself not to be stressed when they don’t behave as you think they should. Try it for a week. It won’t matter if your daughter doesn’t brush her teeth for a week. If nothing else, you will give yourself some space and it sounds like you need and deserve that. If you are anything like my Mother was you will be horrified at this suggestion …….but food for thought maybe?
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