Reply To: This morning was HELL.

[seabassd]

@priestrada,

I hate those kind of days! It’s like the rest of the day is just a bust. You have to listen to the boss or the employees make comments about being late, which makes you feel bad, even if it’s just a bit of ribbing and not a full on ridicule. You may feel guilty about taking a break during the day or leaving for lunch, etc. You also feel a pressure to overcompensate throughout the work day, almost like your punishing yourself for the infraction.

In all honesty I wasn’t usually really late, but I would show up at say 2-5min after starting time. Early on I was so aware of my deficits that I overcompensated and would set 3 or 4 different alarm clocks and make sure I had clothes, gas in the car, time to get to Starbucks, etc. Even with my efforts I still had trouble showing up on EXACT time. I would even wake up like way way way early ( like hours )  just to make sure I had time to get to work. I would be tired the rest of the day, but I got to work on time…Not sure that’s a win. I would also at least once a year sleep in until 10:30 or 11:00 when I needed to be at work by 7:00 or 8:00. I would wake up refreshed feeling and then once I realized what was going on, spend the next 10 minutes bouncing off the walls in some crazy disoriented fashion, almost like I was chasing away bees.

Remember we’re looking for progress with our AD(H)D not perfection. We just want steady progress. Sometimes I think we see things in very Black and White terms. Either we’re ALL GOOD or we’re ALL BAD. We’re either the exemplary employee or the total deadbeat employee. It’s too easy to discard all the good aspects of yourself that you bring to the job when you judge yourself in this fashion.

So what does progress look like in your case. Maybe it’s not about expecting that you’ll never be late but at the same time adjusting things so the odds are in your favor that you’ll show up on time. Maybe it’s about talking to your boss and letting him know that this is a problem for you. You don’t need to tell him/her that you have ADHD (some people do, some people don’t tell their bosses) but let them know you’re trying to correct the issue. Remember with ADHD there may be some changes that you will need to make to work around some limitations you have. Even small changes like no coffee after 2pm, or setting a realistic sleep schedule (maybe 9pm is too early, but maybe 10:30pm will work for you). No video games 1 hour before bedtime, etc. Be creative and be realistic. Flogging yourself to be normal probably won’t be very helpful.

I’m not sure that everyone looks at all aspects of ADHD as a gift. What people do is move away from the self-hatred and start to work within and around limitations. We don’t want to burry ourselves in negative thinking. Ultimately we want to find hope and to be a part of a hopeful recovery.

Hope tomorrow is better for you.

 

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