@robynshnobyn, I commend you for trying to figure this out at your age! You have your whole life in front of you and if you can get this figured out now, wow, I’m jealous! I’m 49 and still trying to figure out what to do when I grow up LOL!
Are you taking medication, and do you feel it is doing your job?
When I was in high school, I was totally clueless about my future and what I should be doing, had no passion for anything in particular, and it didn’t help that there was no one externally cuing me to get ready…for life! I had no idea that I was supposed to be doing things to improve my acceptance to good colleges, which was expected of me by my parents. I was an introvert, socially isolated in school so didn’t pursue clubs…actually, I did join the equestrian club to make me look more active but then never went to the meetings, and you know what? I think I forgot to go to them! No one gave me guidance.
When I went to college, I decided to be a biology major because that was the thing in high school that I actually did like. But I had no idea what kind of job I would be aiming for when I got out. I really liked animal behavior and ecology, but all I knew of such types was that they worked as field biologists, going off to far away places to work alone in the field, and at the time I had a boyfriend, a dog, and a family that expected regular contact. Three things that didn’t add up for being a field biologist! So, I didn’t even try. Plus, I felt so timid about connecting with anyone who might have been an inspiration, something I regret.
I became a dog walker and eventually a dog trainer because I loved dogs and the training tapped into the behavior stuff. But, I wasn’t a good business person, not my forte, self-promotion, lack of confidence and self-esteem, etc.
So, here I am at 49, really not very employable unless I want to work at Walmart, which would be a low wage soul-killing job for me. I have so many regrets in my life, and it brings tears to my eyes even now!
So, I am very happy for you that you are here and asking this question. Why didn’t we have motivation? I still don’t understand it. Lots of people with ADHD do when they are able to tap into their talents, at least, so what’s it about?
I don’t have advice for you other than to embrace this self-exploration, seek that counseling, try to find the help that allows you to find your lurking brilliance. And then tell us about it 🙂