Reply To: Why isn't my life any better since diagnosis?

[blackdog]

 

This is totally the right place for this and you have nothing to apologize for. Most of the people here have had very similar experiences. I was really smart and full of potential too. And my greatest success in life so far has been managing to hold the same crappy minimum wage job for 6 years. Nothing to brag about.

The simple answer is because there is no cure for ADHD. Getting a diagnosis only gives you the satisfaction of knowing this is something real and that there is an explanation for why you are the way you are. Even with medication you still have an ADHD brain and there is nothing you can do about that.

You do have to do the work yourself.  The medication is just to give you a little kick to get you started and make it easier to manage your symptoms. It  won’t magically make everything better. But I am sure you have heard that before and don’t need to hear it again.  And as we all know, trying harder doesn’t help.

As for those people who have ADHD but are still successful, there are a number of possible reasons why they were able to find success. One is that they were lucky enough to find a career that works for them early in life. They may have also had a better support system and better resources to help them. They may have really super high IQ’s. Or they may not really be as successful as you think they are.

You can’t compare yourself to them. It will only  hurt your self esteem. You are as smart as they are and don’t forget it. It doesn’t matter that you are not a doctor or a lawyer. It doesn’t make you any less smart.

It’s kind of hard for me to give any specific advice about things that might help because I don’t know myself. I just got my official diagnosis yesterday. I haven’t even started on the medication yet. But it might help to sit down and brainstorm about what you really want to do. What would make you happy? What do you love enough that you can focus on it and do it really well?

What skills do you have? What are your talents? And what kind of job can you get with those skills and talents? Look into what it takes to get that job and figure out if it’s possible to do it or not. If it isn’t possible, then is there something similar that is?

It might help to give you something to focus on, a jumping off point. Then you can start trying to figure out how to get it done. And you will need help with that, from your husband or a coach or friend. Don’t try to do it all yourself. You will always have the same problems you have now no matter what you do. So it’s important to have that support.

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