What exactly is the reason? I need to understand WHY.

[Anonymous]

Some things I like to follow in dealing with my ADHD:

First and foremost I am constantly Self-Aware. Meaning I am trying everyday to be aware of my triggers, I am trying to stop the blurting before it reaches the mouth.

I take Dexedrine every morning

I have my little black book that I write everything in. I do not go one step without it. It has everything you can imagine in it. If I do not have that in my life than I fall apart.

I have a daily Schedule that I commit to like you suggested Tiddler. I feel like in order to really complete this schedule than you really want to WANT to complete it. I am not sure if that makes sense. You can take all the meds you want or diets or exercise, but if you truly are not committed to controlling your life than you are not going to make it.

Motivations for doing this with my life are school, work and my relationship.

I need to be at my best for all of these. It is a struggle everyday but I reward myself after each day for getting through it. If I do not complete something on my schedule than I try not to freak out at my self or get down about it.

Sometimes I am just dying inside because I feel that I never accomplish enough or I have never done a good job on anything.

These issues are always with me but I am dealing with them one step at a time.

I think it is important to step away from the biological sense of things too and look at the sociological parts. Society has constructed a stigma surrounding this Disorder and have deemed us “stupid”, “inoperable” , “slow”, “bad kid”. I would argue that this is a form of oppression on a mild degree. It is up to us to spread the word not only amongst our fellow ADDers but to everyone surrounding us.

I personally just wrote a letter to my University President about the lack of distraction free rooms allocated for students who need them. I am making a large awareness around here about our disorder. More and more students are coming forward.

I think Tiddler you have to search for a strong motivator to get yourself wanting to write down a list and wanting to follow through with it.

Sit down and think, If I do not start doing this where is it going to leave me? How is this going to affect my Chilidren? Than move forward from that.

We all believe you can do it. Take the advice that you need and act on it.

Colby

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[Anonymous]

Colby, a distraction-free environment sounds pretty enticing to me, I could never focus at work until everyone went home for the day, there were too many sounds, conversations, movements, etc. (a large open office with low cubicles). I also attended an open-concept high school in the mid-70s, an experiment that was not meant for someone like me, 6 different classes going on in one big room, no structure, no exams, etc.

My favourite time of day at home is early Sunday morning, our neighbourhood is barely stirring and is so quiet – I can try to get work done in that kind of environment.

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[Anonymous]

That sounds so nice. I am sorry you had to endure something like that!!

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[Anonymous]

I get myself all organised with notes and a schedule and the first unexpected event and i fall apart .. panic, raised voices, anxiety,

at times i read about how i am responsible for my actions and it is soo hard to stay focused .. self sabotage at best i guess

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[Anonymous]

Tea

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I know that feeling all to well. It is so important to try and practice doing things out of the blue as they say. If I have plans and somethign is outside of those plans I completely get lost and express high levels of anxiety. It is the worst.

I am also very controlling with school work, cooking, really anything I do. I have been practicing letting other people have control. Mainly with my gf. I think it is a good practice to do it with someone close to you first so that you can than bring it in to the real world.

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[Anonymous]

I know what you mean, Tea, except that sometimes I can weather it, and other times, like now, when I am extremely busy at work and overstressed, I can’t. (I was also sick this week with an infection so it made any stressor seem much worse). I actually turned off the phones at work and one day I didn’t bring in my netbook and I got a lot more done, and felt better by the end of the day.

Colby, I’m trying the same thing, it’s hard to give up control and just let change happen without ignoring it or trying to change the experience somehow.

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[billd]

All to familiar………………

I know what I should be doing. I know I can’t do it. I don’t understand WHY I can’t do it.

Yup. I have always believe that some of my days are better than others. I can go a week and really get a lot done – even things I SHOULD do get done, and then some. Then a month goes by and I do nothing but things I want to do, if I do them even, and none of those things on the list I really SHOULD do, I know I should, but just can’t bring myself to do them. It’s like there’s some invisible force I can’t get past. It’s a wall in my head I can’t get over or around.

I have been reading a LOT lately and find a great number of “ADHD” folks say similar – there are days they hardly notice a symptom and things go well and smoothly, projects, the correct projects, get done and mostly on time, then the next week, all heck breaks lose and they can’t even get their to-do list written.

It’s like it comes and goes for some of us at some times.

I’d like to find a way to break that wall – I’ve got a whole bench of alternators and starters to rebuild….. and I LOVE doing them, but it’s like there is this wall and I just can’t even walk over there lately. Dunno why! I’ve tried, I’ve talked myself into it, then start that direction, and recall there’s something else to do….

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[Anonymous]

Yup week on than the next week two or three off days. Make some bad decisions and feel guilty abotu them!! Honestly I have been feeling a lot better just by being on this website.

What I can offer to you BILLD is try and really concentrate on your triggers. By this I mean focus on what is different the week that shit is just not on. There is always somethign that triggers this. I know with me it is if I change my medication pattern, or if I don’t get enough sleep.

Whatever it is, you need to work hard in finding the appropriate solution so that you can still be successful 52 weeks of the year and not just 26.

I think if you really watch your behavior than you will find something. Anyways it may or may not work and you may or may not try it. I know it has been working for me.

I understand on every level how frustrating it is to not know what the EFF is going on and why you are donig certain things.

Maybe even convince yourself of something to make your mind believe that if you eat a bananna in the morning than you are sure to have a great day. Try grabbing on to a pattern in the mornings. It could get you more focused and make you think you are on the right track from the morning and therefore helping you out for the rest of the day.

Remember that everyone has bad weeks/bad days. We perhaps in some cases just feel it on a much higher level. Try to remind yourself that everyone has bad days and it is up to YOU to try and turn it around. I feel like these are the downfalls of ADHD that we really need to pay attention to.

Let me know how things go and I will be here to listen.

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[Tiddler]

Thank you so much, everyone. Bill, that wall is something I really relate to. In the Bill’s adventure where he hyper focuses on getting the drawers all neat and tidy then turns round to notice all the stuff he didn’t get done when he was messing about with the drawers – that look he gets as he gives up and walks off – that’s me and some days it feels like that’s me all day long.

I find that the busier I am the more able to cope I am. When things are slow, they get slower and when things are busy I can buzz along and do great. But I need to have that imposed on me somehow because I just can’t generate it for myself. I woke up in the middle of the night last night with enough drive to get done the work I should have done in the evening. Why in the middle of the night? Why did I actually have energy then and ideas?! I’m knackered today and my moonlight working has made today pretty much a write off as I have no oomph to do anything.

It’s baffling to me. The only thing I can think of is that I panicked when I woke up – it was for work and my deadline was this morning. Panic seems to be a good motivator for me but honestly I really would rather find a better way! I can’t manufacture that panicked feeling if I try so I can’t generate whatever it is that makes me Get Stuff Done by myself.

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[Anonymous]

Why dont you try making a schedule for yourself so you appear busy all the time. I do that with my weeks. I just write things in like have to eat at 12:45pm. Or need to finish school work at 130pm. Than you see that you have a busy day and therefore can work better. You say you work great when you are busy so start findnig things that keep you busy and away you go.

Keep trying new things! Something will click.

Colby

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[Outoftune]

Look up Russell Barkley’s videos and book excerpts where he talks about the executive funtioning of the brain, self regulation and the difference between knowing and acting, etc… He explains pretty clearly why…It made my husband realize I was telling the truth when I said I just can’t help it! Or I know you’ve told me how to do this 20 times but I just cant do it! etc…

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[Outoftune]

Tiddler this part of your post totally resonated with me!!!

“I find that the busier I am the more able to cope I am. When things are slow, they get slower and when things are busy I can buzz along and do great. But I need to have that imposed on me somehow because I just can’t generate it for myself.”

Thank you for sharing that!

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[Anonymous]

I feel the same way

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[Tiddler]

I keep meaning to get some of Dr Barkley’s books. His videos have been so helpful, but typically I haven’t got round to buying the books!

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[Tiddler]

I also meant to comment on your post, Rick, about praising children for effort. I think this is key to improving self esteem. And it avoids pressure to ‘get it right’ because the value is seen to be in the trying.

The difficulty is in making the tasks appropriately challenging for them – 10% out of their comfort zone and most kids do fine – a bit of a challenge allows them to feel good about their work. Too easy and they switch off, too hard and they give up. Big problem when you’ve got a gifted ADHD kid who finds the work simultaneously too difficult and too easy.

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[Author]

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