[runningman]

Hi Lindsey, thanks for your reply it means a lot. To answer your question, no, I don’t think I have a substance abuse problem. Have substances gotten me into trouble in the past, yes, but I’ve grown up quite a bit especially in the last year. I am not an alcoholic – haven’t had even the slightest urge to take a drink in 6 months. I am 100% committed to staying sober for the rest of my life because good has ever come from me drinking alcohol. The same goes for smoking. I have been on several medications and gotten off all of them, because I didn’t like the way they made me feel. The only medication I would like to be on is Adderall, because of what it’s helped me accomplish on the time that I was on it, and I am flat out not the same without it. To be honest, I didn’t fully understand the risks and took it for granted and because of that I got into trouble and lost the privilege of taking it. But I don’t think I should be penalized the rest of my life because of that. So I’m looking for advice on how to talk to my doctor about this when I go in for a second opinion.

In terms of therapy, I did a 16 week group program that met 2 hours a week. Also I’ve been to AA a handful of times. While I was in the hospital (2 weeks cumulatively) I attended multiple group therapy sessions every day. Since then I have been to see a therapist a handful of times….I’ve tried everything the doctor has told me to do (breathing exercises, meditation, etc.). I feel as though I’ve come to terms with the things that were causing me so much stress, and which led to my episodes.

The bottom line is that I’m still having problems focusing and getting things done. It literally will take me an entire day to get something done that if I were on Adderall might take me a few hours. And my quality of study/work is not even close to what it was before. That is why the doctor agreed to put me on methylphenidate.

I think if were prescribed Adderall going forward I would be much more responsible. Would there be a day or two when I had nothing going on, and I take it anyways, enjoy my coffee and do whatever I feel? I’m not going to lie, yes that would probably happen. But I think my dedication to remaining sober from other drugs and alcohol and following the doctors orders will supersede any temptation to abuse the drug going forward. It serves a very specific purpose to me that I am downright struggling without.

Thanks again for your reply. Any other insight would be appreciated.

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