The Forums › Forums › The Workplace › Struggling › I'm only usually late by 5 minutes…what's the big deal? › Re: I'm only usually late by 5 minutes…what's the big deal?
I’ve read every single post on this thread – instead of sleeping so that I can get up on time for work.
Especially the first few posts, that were written, it seems, in blood. You can feel the raw agony and pain being tardy has brought to some of our lives. Many of us have taken successful steps at respecting others by being on time, but some haven’t. The ones that haven’t (again, in the first few posts) strike me as both intelligent and wise, yet they’ve missed the mark and have failed. In some cases, spectacularly.
These are not stupid, or disrespectful people. One has tried so hard, by consulting professionals and using every tool in the book. So it’s not a matter of a lack of will, and I think it’s probably unkind to judge her – or anyone who hasn’t succeeded. Who in their right mind would ever choose to put their livelihood in jeopardy by not trying their very best to be on time?
This is where the rubber meets the road, and I have to ask: what *really* is going on for some of us?
And so I wonder: is it because of a visceral need for stimulation? Because that’s one of the characteristics of ADHD. Some people speed too fast on roads, or put their lives in danger, or take drugs, in order to satisfy that need. It is highly stimulating (in a negative way) to suddenly realize that “oh my God. I’m LATE! I hope all the traffic lights go my way!”. Perhaps the brain seeks out that stimulation.
And before we judge, bear in mind that ADHD is not a level playing field for us all – and that that there are varying degrees of it, and subcategories of it. I don’t have the hyper part for example, just the inattentiveness. Yet I know that about myself, that I often subconsciously seek out that stimulation. I know that I’ve craved it for as long as I can remember, feeling a kind of high when cramming the night before an exam. I hated it, and loved it at the same time.
I still struggle with tardiness, and am of the opinion that I’m being rude when I don’t get to an appointment on time. Sometimes I’m fortunate and I’m early, but sometimes I’m a bit late, and that annoys the hell out of me, often to the point of self-loathing. It’s not easy but I havent given up trying.
Still though, in the back of my mind I wonder if I’m self-sabotaging, unconsciously satisfying a need for stimulation.
REPORT ABUSE