The Forums › Forums › The Workplace › Struggling › I'm only usually late by 5 minutes…what's the big deal? › Re: I'm only usually late by 5 minutes…what's the big deal?
Thanks for your thoughts on this everyone.
I too have a bunch of tools that I use to make sure I get to places on time. But still, there are times when I just don’t. Work is one of them. I would not for a moment want to suggest that being successful is impossible for any of us. (Need to say that first). Yet there are some among us who, try as they might, and with all of the tools at their disposal, will somehow never get past this hurtle. I’m saying we can’t and shouldn’t judge them. There are enough people out there judging us for various aspects of our condition: wild unpredictability, inability to stay focused, crazy modes of thought and conversation (to name a few) – I think we need to give each other a break on this topic. I don’t for a second believe it’s a matter of any of us not trying hard enough. And it’s not a matter of prioritizing better either, for some of us. As I mentioned, who would ever choose to not give enough priority to their workplace to ensure they don’t mess up and get fired?
Our brains are unique. And I know it sounds indulgent but the fact is: we seek out things to stimulate us. We gravitate to them, often unconsciously. Stimulation is our heroin sometimes, and the pull to distraction is often overwhelming. I can say this, after decades of being this way and only lately (finally) being diagnosed. I went through so many years of hell and torment, disappointing my bosses, my wife (now ex), sometimes my kids, and most especially myself, with my tardiness. I am not a stupid man. There is NO way I would consciously or negligently set myself up for failure like this. I’ve been late for everything, including things that might be more attractive than others (I.e. concerts, movies, important events where they won’t let you in if you’re late). And I know there are some ADDers who are even worse off than me.
My hope right now is medication. So far, so good. I find I’m still attracted to distractions but now have more of a sense of control about it all. More than I used to, anyway. Yesterday I got to work on time. Bonus! Today – not so much. Still it’s a good feeling to be able to try and finally succeed now and then.
Munchkin I hear what you’re saying about isolation. I never thought about it before but I do the same thing: I don’t accept invitations because I don’t want to disappoint people, and because I know the planning is a hit or miss thing. (If I don’t get distracted maybe I’ll plan properly and make it. God. For me that’s like saying “don’t Imagine there’s a pink flamingo in the corner of the room”. Because you know what’ll happen, right?)
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