The Forums › Forums › Emotional Journey › My Story › Unfiltered brain › Re: Unfiltered brain
Hi Mudslinger48,
I’ve had a similar issue concerning depression – bi-polar meds. Years ago I went to see my MD to discuss my bouts with depression and I was prescribed medication. I was informed that it would take about a month or so before I would feel a difference. I stopped after 8-9 weeks because it had no effect whatsoever.
You might want to look into something called Dysthymia. It’s a form of depression and some of the symptoms are feeling confused, foggy, poor concentration and difficulty making decisions. This would be one of those neat’ co-morbidities that some of us have in their collections.
Despite observations from friends, deep down inside, I always new I wasn’t dealing with clinical
depression or bi-polar disorder. Dysthymia can be confused with Bi-Polar disorder. And if left to it’s own devices, it can blow out to full on clinical depression.
I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD at 34. After deep reflection, since being diagnosed, I noticed that there was a strong correlation between my “depression” and how well things were going on in my life or how I perceived the things that were going on in my life. The word Dysthymia in Greek means “bad state of mind.”
So, when something good would happen and all areas seemed to be clicking along without issue or heartache, it would be like “Magic Presto” – I felt great and my “depression” – gone. I’d have clarity, I got things done and even cleaned my room. And then, when something failed or fell apart, even the smallest thing, and I was left wondering, “how could this happen to me again? Why me? When is something going to finally work out? Why do I have such bad luck!?” I would get depressed again, become irritable, shack up with an extra large pepperoni pizza – 3x extra cheese – and dispiritedly watch as the dishes piled up in the sink.
It almost feels like something “learned” over all the years of not knowing the mysteries behind the “why’s and how’s” that coming to understand ADHD has revealed to me.
Right now, I’m learning to re-frame how I see negative things. Although super difficult at times, I’m finding that it helps to reduce the amount of time I spend with that pizza.
I’ve also noticed that physical excersie, particularly the outdoor kind, reduces the amount of time I feel like a crap sack. That is, when I manage to wiggle out of that “figure four – pepperoni grip”.
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