The Forums › Forums › Emotional Journey › Is It Just Me? › Feeling confused as always › Re: Feeling confused as always
Anonymous
i think you’re getting into a cycle of over-analysing and driving yourself nuts with it, along with expecting instant gratification and magical results. i do that ALL the time. and then i bring all sorts of other stuff in and pile them onto my molehill to build a little mountain.
some of the dangers of having a creative, quick-thinking ADHD brain – we get a bit um… carried away sometimes, maybe?
what helps me when i’m starting new meds, is to writeoff the first 3 or 4 days as automatically likely to be rather random and odd in plenty of different ways, in advance. i don’t try and use them as indicators or predictors of anything, cos i know that my brain will likely be doing all sortsa novel stuff and finding it’s balance, and i’ll be on edge and paranoid and feeling really emotionally heightened and physically wired by all the newness and that sort of thing- so i just potter through them as obliviously as i can manage, without examining anything that much.
this has been really helpful especially with antidepressants, cos they put a lot of people all over the flipping place for the first few days on them- we don’t stay like that thankfully, but honestly, if i felt like i was gonna feel the way i do on the first day of new head meds all the time- let alone did any deep meaningful thought during that point, i’d end up throwing the packet back at the pharmacist and running off screaming and looking for the nearest duvet to get under 99% of the time. 
my first few days on straterra (different sort of med) i was dizzy. and had a headache. and it took me ages to pee. i’d sit down and tell my brain to pee, and it’d take about a week to send the message down to my bladder and set everything going. which was weird. and sorely disapointing too. i didn’t think anything had changed beyond that.
my first few days on wellbutrin (used off label for adhd, also for depression and to quit smoking) i was bouncing off the walls alert, and way too chipper. i cleaned my entire house, sweated buckets, laughed my arse off at pretty much everything like i was completely stoned, and didn’t sleep more than a few hours, and was still kinda conscious, not sleeping deeply, the whole time. i also felt a bit nauseous randomly. that didn’t last.
my first few days on effexor (mainly used as an antidepressant, sometimes for ADHD too though) i was a bit hyper too, and had absolutely no sense of balance. urgh. seasickness all the time, felt like my head might roll off sideways. did not like. again, didn’t sleep.
all of these things calmed down within a week or two, and having got used to the minor shifts in me (cos i was still me, just a me tuned into a slightly different frequency), i was more able to reflect on subtler changes, look back, and assess what was happening underneath the surface. i made a little symptom checklist and looked at whether each issue had improved, got worse, or stayed the same. and most importantly, i asked people around me how i’d seemed- and especially in the case of the straterra, they saw dramatic changes that i really hadn’t noticed until they mentioned them, that didn’t seem dramatic to me. probably cos i’ve got ADHD- i think i’m paying attention a lot of the time, but i’m usually the last person to know whats really going on with me, cos my eyes and brain are off all over the place 24-7.