Dr. J – you are so right…self-medicating is dangerous, even before one realizes that’s what s/he was doing! Yes, it’s dangerous, but can I cry since it seems in retrospect like it could have been like the holy grail for my ADHD?
So this past summer (2010), I met a hottie who happened to be a self-described connoisseur of drugs. Long story short, I shot up methamphetamine (meth) a few times and liked it! The hottie I was with made sure I took small doses so I wouldn’t OD…which probably is why I still have a “what’s the big deal?” attitude about meth. I had a job as a graduate teaching assistant in mathematics, and I was still able to do it…maybe even better than before! Mind you, the course I was teaching was post-calculus linear algebra for engineers.
So much for drugs frying brains like eggs and turning people into psychotic idiots. I wasn’t addicted by any means, either. I wasn’t seeking it out in huge amounts, stealing, being violent, killing, or anything. I wasn’t any of these things that people think of when they think of druggies.
Honestly, I still feel like meth is a wonderful drug! Except for the palpitations and tachycardia after the hit, and another thing that I’ll get into later, it worked much better, longer, and with less side effects than any perfectly legal ADHD drug I’ve taken. (Mind you, meth is legally available for ADHD in the USA…brand name Desoxyn…but is almost never prescribed due to its stigmatized status.) It even helped me rapidly lose weight without even trying…25 lbs in a month…and this weight loss is NECESSARY since on any given day, I’m either morbidly obese or slightly less weighty. This drug is like a MIRACLE!
Well, if it’s too good to be true, it probably is. Uh yeah, shooting up is the easiest way to get a scary skin infection. Mine was MRSA cellulitis (think: swollen, red skin + fever). It was worse than it felt…semicircular on both sides of the right elbow and the humerus side of the left elbow. IV vancomycin + 3 days in hospital + I&D + Bactrim DS = cure. (I&
incision and drainage…think: slash the spot and squeeze it until everything comes out, and then leaving gauze in and on there for days until it quits draining.) I might be more scared of it if I weren’t convinced that the first 2 terms on the left side of the equation were unnecessary.
All that suffering and you think I wouldn’t be so positive about shooting meth. But omg…you’ve got to understand…I’m 27 and have literally been obese all my life! I was not even thinking about losing weight, yet here comes meth and it helps me lose 25 pounds in a month. For the first time ever, I have hope that I might reach my ideal weight someday! This felt so easy and so effortless. This made dieting easy! People who didn’t know my secret were actually telling me I looked good 
Had it not been for the infection and corresponding fatigue, it would have been great! Not only that but this stuff could have also given me more motivation and focus had it not been for the fatigue/infection?
If only meth pills weren’t so stigmatized. I want to cry. I need a hug. I feel like the best treatment for my ADHD *and* morbid obesity is meth…yet all the moral/political forces are so against it. Having it as pills would mean no nasty skin infections from shooting it…taking away the only downside that I see to meth. But the stigma makes me feel bad about even wanting meth pills. Concerta is helping…but meth seemed to bring about a possibility of total mind and body transformation.
Not to mention that one of the druggies the hottie introduced me to was a hardened one…and people described him as “healthy” when he got off the meth and gained weight even though the gain made him overweight and even obese! OMG I’d say that other than the meth-induced psychosis he was healthier on the meth…or at least at his ideal weight.
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