Do you have an HD picture into my mind? WoW 
Growing up, I Mentally, emotionally, etc shut down and just went numb…. Alls I herd was the – stuff.
I did see a Registered Psychological nurse a few years ago, she is the one that suggested that I might have it. She saw things in me that she saw in her son. (They just had him diagnosed.) The next step was to PUSH the psychologist to test me. He just wanted to do the Depression and the Anxiety. With the meds, He said they are either working, or do nothing at all. It did not take long, and did it Ever Help!!! I had a still mind. But, her and her family moved away, so I am with out any professional help now.
One thing that I find hard is that I see in stores and on TV, all of the perfect things. I am a handy man, and I love to build things. I have this idea in my head of something that I want to build. I start building it, and I make alot of small mistakes. It does not turn out to be what I pictured, perfection……. I am learning, reminding myself, that it takes time to prefect my skills.
I know that most of what I have to do is develop positive responses to the nagging negative thoughts that solve to pounce upon me at anytime. Most of the time, I need an outside mind to help me make the positive thought… and I am to scared to ask, for fear of rejection/ridicule/belitteleing…… It is getting easer, but I still get really tense before I ask……..
Thanks for your response, it really does help.
Dave
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