yeah, i do. 
i can see into your sockdrawer too- you should tidy that up sometime… 
if someone ridicules and belittles you when you ask for help- their behaviour is that of a huge giant arse of the highest magnitude. if they reject you, they’re probably unable or unwilling to help you for some other reason. their choice says absolutely nothing about you, mate- don’t forget that! we get so focused on our own stuff that i think we often forget that everybody else is almost totally focused on their own stuff too- what they say and do says a lot about them and where they are mentally.
it sounds like you’re off to a REALLY good start with the help you’ve got- you just need to keep at it! give yourself a bit of a nudge, maybe. your old nurse mighta moved, but i bet there is a directory for mental health services local to you, somewhere- like your doctors office, local social services helpline, etc….. maybe even online….. 
not that i’m pushing or anything.
i know what you mean about perfect things. everything on tv is an illusion though, and we can’t get everything perfect, we’d implode with the stress of it, and i have no clue where we’re meant to find the time either- all we can do is our best. part of that is not setting the goalposts too high to begin with. it sounds like you’re practicing that- give yourself a cookie and a compliment. patience is HARD to master when your imulse control and attention span are limited (i doubt i’ll ever get it down 100%- i aint no zen master(mistress), but i’m getting somewhere in the right direction at least! ), and obviously you know that mistakes are a really important part of the learning process…. right?! right.
you’ll get the mental dialogue worked out soon enough- it’s just habit for the mostpart. thoughts travel down these little neuron pathways in your brain- it’s easier for them to go down a familiar route (which is why old habits die hard, and why you have to do things a few times when you’re learning them, before they stick) but the more you work a decent groove into the new thought pathways, the easier you’ll find it to slide your head that way- it’ll become automatic to think more constructively over time- just keep at it.
you’re gonna love CBT, once you really get into it. thoughts and feelings and beliefs are really interesting stuff, so is how your head works. it’s really liberating when that big jumble starts to make sense, and rewarding when you start to catch yourself sliding and make helpful changes. you’re gonna learn a whole bunch.
your ‘positive responses’ bit- you’re definately headed in the right direction with that- but the trick is to go for *realistic* responses. your brain won’t beleive you if you sugar-coat everything, you’ll not be convinced one bit – you’ll say “i’m totally awesome, huh? sounds like a complete crock of *grumble grumble* to me…” before you know whats happened. realistic is more… well… realistic.
i did a mood and anxiety course at my local hospital recently, we used a lot of paperwork from this group- you might wanna read the paperwork module by module (i know its a lot, but its GOOD stuff!), and even have a bit of a go at the thought diaries bit (part of module 4). maybe ask for the help of objective fiance for backup to get you started with the whole ‘being more realistic’ end of things, if you come unstuck. i come unstuck a fair bit- i have an objective mum who helps me with mine.
http://www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/resources/infopax.cfm?Info_ID=47
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