Wow Cayjam. Did you steal my notes 
That was my rant for years and years, til I actually had an AHA! moment from this website and hearing about ADHD more and more in the media. I thought geeze, I am STILL in the same exact place I was when I was 20 except now I have a kid and loads of bills to pay. I HAD to try something. Changed my diet, cut out booze and started exercising (sort of). Those things helped, but something was still not connecting. I Still felt like i wasn’t really a participant in my own life, that the world was flinging me here then there and life was passing me by while everyone else was out having fun, enjoying life and making progress.
I was late EVERY DAY for every job I ever had. Would work for a year max (making excuses was an art for me), then quit. Like you, I started an AMAZing job that had great benefits, let me come in late, wanted to promote me, and one day I, I have no idea why, I went in early before anyone was there, wrote a resignation note, quit and went home. DUH! I would hate to see that happen to you with your new job.
Not sure what was keeping me from my doctor, but maybe the stigma of someone my age having a disorder that was identified with hyperactive little boys; admitting that I had something wrong with me; taking medication for something that I thought I should be old enough to manage on my own…..? Not sure why, but when I did….WHat a RElief!! She gave me a test and all signs pointed to ADHD, sent me to a psychiatrist who also tested me and he concurred, wrote me a prescription for Ritalin, recommended a group therapy session and said “keep in contact, let me know if you have any side effects, see you in a month”. Wow, that was easy, what was I so worried about.
I started taking a SMALL dose of Ritalin and noticed a change pretty quickly, and its helped me ever since, with some minor adjustments and side-effects that eventually went away. I wish I’d done it years ago. It is as Spice lady says, NOT a CURE, but rather a tool that helps me focus more clearly on ways I can change my behavior patterns. I no longer go to the laundry (grudgingly, like my feet were made of lead), and say “pebble!” and wander away from my original goal. Now I say Laundry time, make myself get up (not nearly as much of a struggle), go down and actually do laundry, not only stick it in the washer, but in the dryer, out of the dryer, folded neatly and put away! egads…..a first for me. Now, when I have to be somewhere ON TIME, I am more clear-headed and realistic about when I have to leave the house, account for traffic, time of day, hair, makeup done earlier, clothes the night before, and I usually am on time now. I’m looking forward to starting classes again as soon as I move back to CA, and start doing what I want to do in life, start controlling my life instead of ADHD controlling me. Some days are still better than others and I still have to work on behavior patterns but its so much easier now, like a giant weight has been lifted off me.
Now, I’ve been accused on this site of advocating drugs by a poster so I’m NOT advocating drugs to you…..just sharing my experience. Many people here choose not to use meds but look to behavioral techniques and methods.
You’ve already taken the first steps by recognizing your patterns of behavior and your trail of “misadventures.” Because I felt your pain and frustration in your post, it pains me to read about where you are in your life and how you are hurting. My EX husband just flat out called me a “Waste.” You aced your tests, you want to play violin,….I’d say, judging from your list of “positives” you are an amazingly talented person being held back by something. I’m not a doctor, so it would be irresponsible of me to say ADHD but it sure points to it much the way mine did.
I grew up with four brothers who were always ruling the roost and I was sort of off in the corner somewhere. So I know what you mean about being a guy. I’m so glad I’m female!!! We have so much to offer the world and we’re not always distracted by (s.e.x.) the way most guys are. I seriously think we should be in charge of the world! Okay, enough of my grandstanding.
Dspicelady, said it much more eloquently, and every person reacts differently to different methods, meds, so you have to figure out what works best for you with experimentation. I recommend watching the videos on this page to get you started if you haven’t already….
http://totallyadd.com/sponsored-video-5-medications-alphabetically/
Scroll down to video 1 and work your way through to 5. It cleared up a lot of fears and misconceptions I had about taking medication. Lots of other good vids and links available here too.
Good luck and would love to have an update.
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