Re: 20+ years of the same issues

[Anonymous]

First to all who have replied I want to say thank you it means a lot to hear your stories. With that said

I had my meeting on the 12th and I got some surprising results. I took my wife with me because sometimes I don’t hear exactly whats going on. Ok so I am going to skip over what we already know which is I have ADHD and Depression. But I took a psych test and the found that I have a named problem where I don’t really like having friends. Meaning I rarely let anyone in to see the real me. Which explains why I consistently push people away and real have never had any truly close friends besides my wife and one friend that I have had since 3rd grade. Also I have a major issue with internalizing things that I do or are out of control I constantly blame myself for everything and really let everything affect me. This explains a lot because I have many problems with constantly trying to make everything happy and when it doesn’t work I fall to pieces. I have now been diagnosed that I have anxiety and it really doesn’t surprise me that much just its funny that no one noticed it. The doctor was not overly helpful in my eyes I left with many questions but because he was more worried about the time we couldn’t ask that many questions. It was funny because he was a completely different person this time and it really wasn’t helpful.

So my wife and I are going to work on some other things I have an IQ of 109 but that is because of my memory and math/reading score if those where remotely normal I would be 117+ I know its just a number but that was kinda nice to hear. He mentioned OT, for my memory, which I didn’t really understand so my wife is going to talk to a friend and see if we can meet with her and see what may help. He said medication would be a good idea but then he had no suggestion of a med and said it was up to my doctor so that was pretty worthless. The high point is he is going to write a letter to my college about test taking not taking and some other help that the school may offer.

Over all I know this is the first step but its funny I thought I would feel better knowing but now it is upsetting because I feel bad that my wife has to go through this. Also I just feel more broken than anything I just feel like crying and giving up. I want it to be fixed but its not fixable its just me so what the hell am I supposed to do. I hope the medication will help some of these issues but my wife and I are going to take it one step at a time. We are going to start with ADHD meds and working on my math (8th grade) and reading (9th grade) to try and get those up a little in order to help me in school. So this is how its going to go.

Can somebody please suggest some medications that I may want to look into?

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