Re: Carrying a Guilt

[Anonymous]

Hi Wg……thanks and….yes…agreed whole-heartedly. Maybe even take that to ‘responsibility”. I believe with all my heart and soul I am responsible for my behavior. In my mind that also means I take “ownership” for my behavior, my perspective, my responses how I view the world and internalize things……and how I view and treat others. Sure every once and a while the sky really does fall and circumstances….dictate an un-forseen outcome……it happens. “Into every-bodies life a little rain must fall”…Ella Fitzgerald.

Having said that we can always try right the wrongs we’ve done, do the right thing.. and back-manage those rare occasions with whatever it takes. Easy to say….hard to do maybe. I observe often that the right thing to do is very very hard for some people to do.

As for assignment of ownership of anything critical to our personal make-up….to others….no, never. For me that is similar to abdicating responsibility for who I am. It also would mean (to me) that someone else has control of my power and I don’t believe that can happen. I understand that some folks hand over their power and try and place blame for their actions or behaviors or misery, externally. My take Wg is that the scarring or pain comes from not taking ownership……ownership is the begining of the healing. Issues and root problems may go back a long ways but we are adults…….blaming another…..for what happened years ago, for who we are today……hmmmmmm…….I don’t know. Understanding things of that nature maybe more beneficial to us in the long run..if we don’t take our own steps to understand and right that which is wrong within……who will???

No Wg, I do not feel (myself) that being late for work, or lying…..or not living up to any other commitments we make to ourselves or others is right. My word means too much( to me)…….I feel, if I am not “valued at my word” what am I??? I will, to my own detriment do everything in my power to keep my word. Truth be known, if I find I am consistently dropping the ball…I re-look at things that I am committing too, to see if I am being honest with myself, with regard to those commitments. Maybe my expectations of myself are too high……..at the moment…..maybe I’m not being truthful with myself…..I don’t know those answers. But I know continuing that behavior is not good for others around me, and is not healthy for me. If…(actually when), I drop the ball I also take responsibility for that…..it happens. Just a side view tho…..I am also kind to myself when I mess up, or I certainly try to be. I feel I am worth that self-benevolence…..I like me…..and I recognize imperfection when I see it, and I see it in the mirror. I just…I like what else I see too.

So maybe it comes down to…..how can we change what do we do not acknowledge and accept in ourselves. If our perception of ourselves and our world is flawed….do we not need to understand how they are flawed in order correct them?? How do we do that without accepting that the perspective flaws are ours, because changing another is damn near impossible……I can only change me????

Maybe……I don’t know……..I do know these things are right for me, and thanks Wg….I appreciate the stimulation.

toofat

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