Re: Anger due to the differences between severe and mild sufferers

[Bill]

A friend of mine was diagnosed bipolar many years ago. She has been through all the stuff that you read about: shopping sprees, giddy highs, partying all night, on the one hand and depression, suicide attempts on the other. But when I asked her if she wished she’d been born without it, she replied no. She wouldn’t give back her experiences with life for anything.

I agree with those who say that ADHD is not a gift. At the same time, labeling it a deficit and a disorder, as if it’s something you can cure or “re-order” seems wrong to me as well. I subscribe to the view that there is a genetic component to it. I see it in my father and my son. There’s no point in blaming what I can’t do on my disorder. I have to find a way to live in society, using every resource I can find, including medical, coaching, research, skill development and a circle of friends.

Life is the gift and ADHD is part of my life. My mission, should I decide to accept it, is to live the best life I can, learning what works for me and what doesn’t. I forget deadlines and have trouble staying on task, so I have to be sure there’s someone on my team to cover that angle. I am amazing at coming up with new ideas, seeing problems in a different light and spreading infectious enthusiasm, so I need to be sure I find opportunities for that.

A major learning for me was to stop beating up on myself, and accept that there are some things that I will never master. I had to learn to celebrate the fact that my wife has no problems remembering appointments, rather than seeing it as yet another indication of how much of a loser I was. I used to live there. Not only was it depressing, it also didn’t help me solve any of my problems.

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