Re: Balancing life and work for workaholic ADDer

[Curlymoe115]

Is it really about perfectionism or control. I find that their are so many areas of my life out of control that when I find an area of my life that I am good at, I have to have control. From Dh’s work, leisure ect to my kids. When I was working I felt like I had to be everything to everyone. My GF is a manager with a company. She works 70 or more hours regularly. She goes into the office at 10 am and walks out at midnight or better. Fridays are their busy day and she walks out at 6 am Saturday morning. She is often called into work on her weekends. When she goes on vacation they give her a cell phone to keep in tough if they need her. Her health has suffered. She is only 42 but she has already had 2 heart attacks. She has had cataracts from too much close work. She gets sick all the time. She can’t regulate her weight and often eats food which makes her sick because it is convenient. Her boss often has screaming fits and calls her a bunch of names and is literally spitting mad. Because she is divorced with no children he figures that she is not entitled to a life outside of work. She manages 50 employees (give or take they are always having people quit because of the amount of work and the hostile work environment) who make little more then minimum wage. Yet because she is willing to put up with this she figures that they owe body and soul to work as well. They often leave her in the lurch and she uses this excuse to justify why she can’t take the time back that is owed to her. She has canceled vacation time when work needs intercede. All the male managers in her workplace that are the same level as her make 20 grand more then her. They are able to leave at a reasonable time and they respect that they are off the clock when they leave. One day I will get a call that she has been hospitalized or died. Yet after 7 years of this she is still unable to quit. Now on top of her many other duties they have heaped new ones on her and she is expected to travel 4 days a week trying to drum up new business for the company so that she is not having to lay off more people. Her ex had the job before her and he was never expected to do what she is doing. He had an assistant to handle all the day to day problems and an office door that acted as a gate between them. She moved her desk out into the main work area so she could Control everything that was going on. Now they feel free to stop at her desk to carp about everything. She personally proofs everything before it is sent away. For 60 employees. Nothing leaves the department without her signature. When mistakes are made she has made herself responsible. Then her boss is back threatening and bullying again. Even after eye surgery she only gave herself a morning off. She is always in limbo between hoping and dreading that they will fire her. They would have to pay her a severance package that would allow her time to find a new job. But at 42 when is she going to realize life is too short for the life she leads.

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