Robert, I can’t help you with a referral in your area 
but I can tell you the route I went through when I ‘bottomed out’. Do you have any sort of Employee Assistance Program through your job at all? I would check with human resources and see if you have any options as far as that goes. I was at the end of my rope and felt utterly hopeless. There was a “Call for Mental Health” number on the back of my insurance card, but what good would that do? I knew that if I started with EAP, they could refer me on to the appropriate doctors and since they were affiliated with my job, they could find someone who took my insurance.
I would also suggest checking the internet for mental health facilities in your area and see if people have ‘rated the doc’ or talked about their experiences. Finding a good doctor anywhere can be hit or miss, but sooner or later you get what you’re looking for. We have a site here called “ADAMH” which deals with mental health and addiction, it’s an all inclusive site that had a ton of resources, perhaps you have something like that???
Also, if you have a family doctor you see, ask them for any sort of referrals or suggestions.
It can be a process. When the psychiatrist I was seeing stopped taking my insurance, and I had to try and find another physician, I made close to 2 dozen phone calls until I found another doc, but it was well worth the hard work and frustration.
I can tell you that the fact that you are so completely honest about what’s going on with you is such an important first step. I think that for so much of our lives, we have learned to ‘disguise’ or hide our issues behind gregarious personalities and our penchant for drama and chaos that we can’t begin to change until it all comes crashing down around us.
Keep an open mind and realize that any diagnosis that you get, scary as it may sound, it a step on a path of wellbeing. It’s probably not that you ‘love’ chaos or are addicted to it, it’s probably the fact that you’ve survived in it for as long as you have. It’s like Stockholm Syndrome…
Good luck. Keep us posted!
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