Re: first impressions of you

[sdwa]

In social situations and at job interviews, I feel extremely self-conscious. I could interview well as a kid, when there was less to say, and I only had to memorize expected responses. Now I’m older and it’s harder to compete just for that reason. People tell me I don’t smile enough. Because I feel so anxious, I probably radiate nervous energy, which others find weird or off-putting. How weird I actually am, I’m not sure – I was constantly told I was weird and crazy in my family growing up. There’s a combination of emotional neediness and resentment that probably results in my coming across as more misanthropic than I actually am. I’ve realized I have many self-limiting beliefs – and I remember reading somewhere that it is not as big of a problem to be perceived as “weird” as it is to be perceived of as uncomfortable with who you are. If you’re weird but you like yourself anyway, and don’t feel you need to apologize for who you are, people can feel that. It’s something that can’t be faked, and would be, in my experience, exhausting to fake for more than two hours at a time.

I’m thinking the best way to be “packaged” is through clothing and hairstyle, because stereotypes work – look at how Hollywood dresses the type of character you want to play in your real life, and you won’t be far off from how you’ll be perceived and judged. It is, of course, complete nonsense, but I guess that’s why there are image consultants. Maybe if you package yourself with the appropriate visual code, you can maintain your personality without worrying about it.

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