Re: Crying at Work

[Geoduck]

“I can’t believe you did that” attitude. While describing this to my husband I then got a “why did you let that happen?” “never take the blame for something you didn’t do!”

Yeah, I used to get that with the hubby, too. It’s true, though. I don’t know if it’s ADD or not, but I tend to take the fall for other people. Maybe it’s because I’m a girl and we’re taught to “make nice” too much. >

Oh Zoloft did nothing for me. However, it’s an antidepressant and was prescribed for depression, not ADHD, and I didn’t even depression at the time, just a bad doctor. I take adderall for ADHD. It doesn’t seem to help with the emotional stuff, except the temper. I also have the ADHD temper issues. I keep my cool in that I don’t explode, but for some reason still take stuff waaaay too personally, or gnaw on stuff that is personal way too long. Really wish I could do that “water off a ducks back” thing, but nope.

Also, if you are taking Zoloft for depression, realize that depression could be your cause. It takes Zoloft about a month to work, and so if you just started taking it, you’ll need to give it time. Also, if you’ve been on it for a while, this drug may not be addressing all the symptoms of depression, and you need to talk to your doc about how it’s working, possibly changing drugs. Not every drug works for everyone in the same way and there may be something better out there.

I keep trying, but still chew on things, especially in the middle of the night. One thing I used to do when I worked was to put on a very funny show. Anything that could really make me laugh and laugh hard. It just seemed to help, somehow.

The other thing is a lot of this may be more from your past than ADHD. Like if you’re a woman, being told to make nice all the time. Especially if you are really trying hard to earn people’s respect, it’s hard not to do the “make nice” thing. It’s even harder to shrug stuff off. Still, there are a million things in your past that make you who you are now. Dealing with that has helped more than dealing with the ADHD, but I still have issues with it, to tell you the truth.

For what it’s worth, it’s okay to stand up for yourself, but if you are dealing with an asshat of a boss, you’ll have to weigh whether it is better to bide your time until you can find a better position, or whether you should confront him and face whatever damage that will cause. Having done this, it has backfired and made my life more miserable than necessary. Still suffering some PTSD from that job. LOL! Had I just laid low until I found a better job, I would have at least spared myself some retribution from the boss.

Also, before you confront your boss, ask a trusted (emphasis on trusted) friend, who has known you for a few years, about how they perceive you. You may be doing something that is making the problem worse. Everyone does this. We just don’t see ourselves the same way others see us. Sometimes, a good friend can give us that perspective.

For example, my friend told me, after one of my many work exchanges, that my problem was that I had an over-inflated sense of responsibility. I grew up in a huge family, and was responsible for my younger siblings in a more than normal way. He thought that I never learned to NOT be responsible. He told me to just let go of some of these things, that if someone else could do it, I wasn’t doing them any favors by doing it for them. It’s why I’d take the blame for stuff, and it’s why I’d offer to do more than I had any business doing. The more I thought about it, the more I saw what he was saying. It gave me something to work on. I still am prone to doing this, but I’m working on it.

Good luck!

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