Re: Don't know what to do with siblings and parents

[Anonymous]

Hey Stash I get Mr.Jobs. quote…….as a matter of fact too subscribe to that theory. I’m not sure that because I evolved from a particular gene pool is the reason to do anything in particular. Following my heart has provided me with a very full and satisfying life, with no regrets. It’s often been hard……others can make real hard……people will gladly line up to tell you your thinking is flawed.

My parents (both deceased now) lived in different place ( or space) than I did. Sure we were family and is there some kind of obligatory thing that goes on there……but if they were not my parents, we would likely never have had anything to do with each other socially or otherwise. I don’t place judgement on that, it just I recognize how different we were. Soooo……..sure family is family but then family is just family too???? If someone places a very high value on that (for whatever their reason), that’s fine, again I don’t judge that either.

I believe that many people loose their way because they are unable to detach from many things in their world such as, social norms, status pressure, peer pressure…….career expectation, perceived parental responsibilities, marriage vows, religious sanctions etc.

Learning to listen to your heart, truly knowing what your heart is trying to tell you is very very difficult, but I believe it’s possible. Most people heads also get in the way and cloud the message from the heart. I do not expect anybody’s vision or reality to be the same as mine. Likely both visions are limited and inadequate but not to the same extent. Both likely see some truth and are affected by some visionary flaws as well, but more than likely they are again flawed differently…..we more than likely are to some degree..

Nellie boundaries I feel are critical as well……..boundaries for me are again dictated by my heart….now. I used to have rules that my head (and others) told me I should have…..they ended up to be survival tools actually. I abandoned a great many of those years ago, much to my relief. Survival tools (so I found) will only provide me with survival….not a full, aware, and rich life.

As far as parenting goes……many people are not well versed in skills required to effectively parent. It small wonder because most people (not all) prepare more for their drivers exam and they do for parenting. It is nobodies fault, most people just feel, or are told that they should just do what comes naturally, which is usually the application of outdated thinking that even in bygone days was flawed at best. Ever hear people say….gawd…..I sound like my mother, or my father????

We wouldn’t expect doctors to use tools from the 1900s. We would not even expect our auto dealership mechanics to do that………yet many people seem to feel quite comfy using the social and parenting tools past on by our parents, and their parents, and their parents before them. Quite often (I believe) if nothing changes, nothing changes.

B68…it takes a lot of inner strength and courage to find your own way regardless of status quo……..be brave…..be strong…be happy. I believe we have it in us will find our own way…I believe for the most part we all can……it’s the trying that’s hard.

I don’t profess to know what is right for anybody but me…….and many days that too requires all of my attention.

toofat

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