Re: Frustated with having ADD

[Tiddler]

Hi

I think your partner seems to be very negative and this can only lead to self doubt and despair.

You have ADHD. This means that you do things differently to your partner. Instead of criticising you and talking down to you, he needs to recognise that and respond with empathy. If you had trouble walking, would he treat you badly for needing crutches? Or for lying in bed if the pain got too much?

If he can’t see the many, many positives you have, ask yourself why not. They’re right there for anyone to see. I’ve spent a couple of minutes reading what you’ve written, that’s all, and I already know that you’re strong, you want to do the ‘right’ thing, you work hard at your relationship, you can ask for help time and again even when you’re being knocked back for it and you seem to be suffering from depression yet still fighting to learn more and get better.

I think you’re bloody amazing. If he can’t see that and he’s putting you down to this extent, you probably need to speak urgently to someone who can help with the immediate problem of how low your mood has gone.

Your family are NOT better off without you. Your children need you and love you and ADD doesn’t make anyone a bad parent. You sound just like me to be honest – maybe stronger than me – but similar for sure. The only difference as I can see it is that my husband doesn’t mock or belittle me, so my self esteem, when it takes a dive, climbs again because I have someone to lean on. That’s his job, just as it’s mine when he needs the same.

If he can’t give you that, do reach out to someone else – a women’s aid, another doctor, a friend or family member – anyone that you can tell that this is getting too much for you.

And keep talking to us. You’re going to be fine. Better than fine. I’m sure of it.

ADD is just part of you. It hasn’t removed all your other gifts and strengths – and you clearly have MANY of those.

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