Re: Why was I not diagnosed when I was a child!

[g.laiya]

ginniebean you’re right to question if we would have indeed been better off if diagnosed as children,considering various scenarios. in my case, reflecting back on my particular set of circumstances, it may very well be that it was a good thing medication was not offered/available when i was elementary school age for reasons along with your line of thought. additionally, my behavior was not disruptive, and i was able to compensate for my deficiencies pretty well early on.

however i do believe it would have been really beneficial to have the diagnosis, along with increased understanding of my quirks and difficulties, and treatments – including medication-if we had that available by the time i got to high school, and especially by the time i was going to college, as i was less and less able to compensate, and progressively more distraught and confused and depressed as time marched on. i have struggled much more than i should have had to,and i suffered a lot through my life unnecessarily, even engaging in suicidal ideology starting in junior high and continuing through much of my adult life. so,yeah, though it’s water under the bridge, i do believe my life would have been better had i received appropriate diagnosis and treatment by the time i was a teen or at least a young adult.

nellie,yes, quite a quandry. i’m past wanting to hash out issues with her in order to repair things, and not looking to unburden myself either. what i’m thinking, i want to share this with her because she always feels i don’t confide in her (i don’t, or rarely) and this is something i think i can without suffering consequences…though i’m kind of going back and forth on that end too….

also want to let her know i understand now why she was yelling at me all the time. even though i perceived myself as a “good kid” (especially compared to my older brother, i was quiet, polite, did well in school ….) now i have a better understanding of how frustrating it must have been when i was living with them( always running late/ scattered/forgetting to do things/ messy/often in my own world/not paying attention, procrastinating everything/ not getting things done until there was a fire under my butt…).

i attributed the struggle with my mom all these years largely to the fact that we were and are so very different in so many ways, and i also resented feeling unaccepted for my differences, being pushed to be someone i am not. of course being adopted, i suspected that was part of the problem, that perhaps we were both sensitized to being different…i don’t know. apart from the clearly add issues, there were other things she did/said on a regular basis over many years that at best i can say were out of ignorance (all the more painful because she is both bright and educated), but really were cruel on par with verbal/emotional abuse. so….if/when i take the plunge and disclose/discuss this with her, i have to be very careful to know where i’m at emotionally at the time and be very clear with myself of my intentions and where i want the conversation to go – and not go, and not deviate to more emotionally charged issues…..which is just not that easy for me to do. so, not really sure how much air i can really clear by doing this, but i think she’ll appreciate me sharing…if i can keep it simple and focused and positive. and, yes, i will have to assure her that even today – much less forty years ago – it’s a hard diagnosis to make.

bleachboy, oh my gob, i can so globbin relate to what you are saying. you need to find a good dr so you can get the treatment/tools to help you. and read as much as you can here too – a lot of wise peeps here who have been there/done that and can also help guide you and offer a sympathetic ear.

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