Oh crap! I thought I was a master of “oblique or cryptic jibberish”! lol. Rest assured, nowadays I’m pretty good at only saying what It looks like I say. In the past I’ve caught myself being the launcher of passive aggressive angry missiles of destruction. But I put my larger posts into a word processor more often now, and let em sit on my desktop a bit. Then proofread and in the process learn a bit more about how I can do a better job of feeling like I’m helping folks out. When I’m working through my own demons, I keep that for my own journal. I end up posting less here, but growing a lil more.
That’s just what works for me. I can’t tell you what will work for you. Remember that okay? even if it sounds like I’m telling you how to deal with your ADHD. I’m probably just making a little suggestion here n there. To take, or to leave. Your choice of course. So far I haven’t found any rules here. There’s actually isn’t any headmistress. or even a headmister! hehe. (jus made that one up for you)
We may not have anything in common allan buddy, but I sure can relate to a lot of the fears you talk about having. It’s likely that I can at least relate to you “keeping your eye on the door”, and that all too familiar feeling of being guilty when something, anything goes wrong anywhere near me/us. We just screw up sometimes. That’s forgivable my friend. It’s “the ADHD way” kinda like Bruce Lee’s “The Way of The Dragon” lol. He beats people up. We just Fuk up! LOL! lmao…
This is not the dark ages, and there’s no inquisition going on here. People are just paying attention to you, n we care. That’s all. I dare any one person to speak up and tell me I’m wrong. (check back later, just in case… I still got my insecurities ya know 
)
PS, “that woman” is an important person in your life. I don’t know much about being in a successful marriage, but I bet you can find lot’s of good reading here about doing that when you’ve got ADHD to deal with at the same time. A spouse is a very valuable thing this day and age. I’ll bet ya knew that though. You talk about her a lot. Mostly it seems to be your fear of screwing it up that I see. We all go through the same fears. A lot. So stick around, okay? it won’t kill you to feel like people care about you as is, maybe even love you like a brother.
Live with it.
PS I was just reading your post again allan. Thinking about the cost involved in keeping a site like this up and running. Well the truth is, I don’t have the education to make any kind of guess. It’s ironic that I’m a little frustrated with the cost of a new computer. I’ll need that to keep up with the same technology the founders of this site spend about 20 or maybe 30? times as much on. Just because people want to be able to log in from their phones now as well as on the Internet. It’s got to be a financial pressure cooker when I really start to consider all the demand of the shrinking masses of the upper middle class and all their new gadgets that this web site needs to be able to work on. It’s freakin deadly competitive and even thinking a little bit about it make me wonder how he handles it. Rumor has it that Rick has an excellent partner in his life. Her Name is Ava. I’ll bet she’s at least half the power and strength that holds the leadership together around here. It’s actually a team.
That reminds me of a funny one… You’ve all heard people say “there’s no I in team, right?. Well, I say, THERE IS A ME! hehehe ****grin*** what a smart ass, huh? lol.
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