Reply To: Can a person with ADD/ADHD start a group for ADDers.

[Evelyn]

OK here’s the unabridged version of the book:

MarieAngell,

Speaking up, the moment something happens ‘gets me into trouble’. But you are right waiting is just as bad. I used to have an explosive temper. I learned how to control it a long time ago when I was working at the Shopping Guide as a graphic artist. Team dependent production will do that for you. I was also fortunate to have a very patient supervisor. I didn’t lose my job until taking care of my “biological father” which, got to be more than a part-time job and full time worry. I was easily set off, which stemmed from my childhood and early teens. Which is a very long story, worth telling though, but I’ll wait this time.

The interest niche is a good idea; I once belonged to the Downriver Poets and Playwrights Group. But I haven’t been back there in a very long time. I enjoyed it most of the time because we would take turns reading one of our poems, while everyone else followed along on extra copies that we brought in. People would write their critique, and sometimes a discussion would be started by the work, about the structure or style and especially if it was cryptic, emotional, or hard to understand. I used to get lots of discussions going with my poetry. I preferred rhyming poetry, but I also wrote pro’s.

Tiny habits, Thank you. I thought it was you, but I couldn’t find the post so I couldn’t be sure. I am in my second week. I had Jury duty the week I was supposed to start so I waited. I read everything I could find on the website. BJ Foggs goal is not to help us, but to find his way in to the workings of how we make habits. His job is to help big business find ways to make people form new habits that increase their bottom line. Helping us is just incidental, I think if he could figure this out without helping us he would. But heck, if he’s gonna use me for research, I’m damn sure gonna get something out of it.

Be sure you make at least 3 tiny habits, they work better that way for some reason, he explained it but it slips my mind. Oh, and remember, only the first 30 seconds count, anything after that is a bonus. So, if you turn on the water, that’s the win. Now, if you step into the water that’s the bonus, but it doesn’t really count. Even if you turn the water off, you have still performed the tiny habit, and therefor accomplished the victory.

You can find places to hang a tiny habit. One of my new ones is:

After I pour a cup of coffee, I will pour a 4oz (juice) glass of water.

I have been much less dehydrated since I started that one. 4 ounces takes less than 30 seconds to pour but sometimes I have to find the glass. I leave it by the coffee pot now though. Sometimes I only take a sip other times I’ll pour a second glass. There have been times that I didn’t drink the water. But I do always pour it now.

Here’s one someone might use:

“After I have my keys in my hand, I will touch the place they belong.”

Mine belong on a hook next to the front door, so as soon as I have them in my hand “for whatever reason” I always touch the hook by the door. If I’m on my way out it’s almost like that’s where I got them from, so I’ll put them back there when I come in. If I’m cleaning, picking up, or doing laundry and I get the keys in my hand, I will touch to the hook; that’s the victory. While I am there, I might even hang them up; that’s the bonus.

I am glad I could be of help for you too. I know how you feel about not having any habits, I think that is an ADD thing too, it seems like we never do the same thing the same way twice. Like we have no pattern or structure, but I have found that we do, they are just not as ordered as other people who have visible patterns to their lives. I have very few habits and the ones I do have I didn’t realize were even habits. That is until I found a few things I could be sure I would do every day. * I always get up at some time, *I always get a cup of coffee, and I always watch the 11:00 news, which is over at 11:30. I will usually fall asleep sometime between the weather and the sports. Then the TV would stay on another 5 to 6 hours, wasting electricity. That’s the part that really got my dander up; all the lights on and the TV with no-one using them. ‘Course it gave the passers-by a better view inside the house—just sayin’.

Ok, y’all tired of tiny habits yet? Sorry.

But it seems that everything we do follows a series of little actions that have to be done in a certain order. We can use one of the little actions in the series to attach a tiny habit to. And just like Lego’s we can build something from there.

————————————————-

Yes I’m going to have to start an ADD support group if I want a local group— Ok all you guys pack your bags, I’ll just put all this stuff in the shed…

Seriously though, I like your idea about focusing on one big issue. But how many ADDers do you know that will really stay on a focused target?

…besides hyper-focus!

I haven’t contacted the woman I spoke about earlier *blush* I forgot, I was wrapped up with the website thing. By the way she does have a name, Erica; I have avoided saying it up to this point because my sister’s name is also Erica. It can get confusing.

Un-fortunately the scream room isn’t anywhere near me. But I have scared the cats a couple of times, without taking out the vacuum cleaner.

Caregiving… I gave all I had, I gotta recharge the batteries here. I thought I was going to go into caregiving, it was my plan until I was faced with it. First, I was supposed to go into caregiving with the company who provided respite care for me and Leo, when the lady found out I wasn’t a certified CNA she started to backpedal. She finally offered me a job that would be 6 days a week, but only two hours a day. And I had to commit, not take days off and it was 20 minutes one way for $7.50 an hour, mileage not paid. I declined. I wouldn’t have been able to get another job, full, or part-time. I would have been getting ready or driving all the time, and 12 hours over the course of 6 days, half my weekly pay would have gone into the gas tank. 12 hours, over the course of 2 days would have been more acceptable. I would have had 5 other days to schedule a second job.

No I haven’t thought about listing a room for rent–yet. It is an option. It has only glanced off the top of my brain once or twice, but I have 6 months of steady labor getting this house in order for someone (that isn’t family) to move in. Plus I have 3 cats of my own, and my sisters cat which makes 4 cats. One is in heat and I need to remove the carpet now—spring can’t “sprung” fast enough.

See I knew they would come out eventually, wow it’s 3:00 am.

Nighty Nite

REPORT ABUSE