Reply To: Can a person with ADD/ADHD start a group for ADDers.

[Evelyn]

No body responded, on Facebook, now I’m freaked out.

I couldn’t get a hold of Erica, the lady I was talking about for the support group. She won’t be in until Wednesday. So I sent her an email, a very long letter.

Spaced the way Larynxa suggested to me. Thank you for that bit of advice it is helping me too. I am hoping it will be easier on the people I write to too. I understand how full pages of text can be daunting. when I think back to my copy and paste days. I found that much of my time was spent reformatting the information to make it easier to read. I should have applied that into my emails and blog posts too.

I also sent a similar message to the Peer Support Staff Supervisor. He sounds important. Hoping to get the local Mental Health facility to help me with this endeavor. I’m hoping to hear from him tomorrow.

I have to say though I am shaking in my boots. I want to help the people in my area but this could be more than I can handle. I am as afraid they will agree to help me, as I am afraid they wont.

Letting the needs of other people control the course of my life for the last 10 years has had its advantages. The responsibility of making my own direction is a daunting task. So many things are enticing I want to do everything, experience everything, and belong to everything. But I have to choose.

Decisions get harder over the years as it is, I let my circumstances make choices for me. Now I am paying the price for putting all those decisions off. Now I find myself driven to tears over every little minor decision.

Every decision involves a sacrifice, and I don’t want to sacrifice anything. But I find the one thing I hate sacrificing the most is time. But it doesn’t matter what I do in 5 minutes or 5 hours, when the time is gone all I have left is what I did with it. And that was up to me.

I don’t do myself any favors by being indecisive, much of my reasoning is that I will miss something else, or I won’t have time for something else. Sometimes it’s clear of what that something else is. But most of the time I don’t have a clue.

I wish someone could tell me how to fix this.

I remember looking at a (one) big clear plastic beach bag with green and blue designs on it full of papers, I had poetry, magazine articles, writings, legal papers, business papers, notes, school papers, photos and a myriad of other papers that I kept thinking I would get to… some day!

That day never came I now have at least 8 banker boxes of papers, maybe more. I’ve been able to get rid of some things but the majority I always think I’ll eventually get to. The hording of paper information expanded to include books, and now files scattered all over my computer. I have a big mess.

Sometimes I think if I can confront that one issue and get it handled everything else will fall in line. (Oh and the handle it once trick… don’t work!!) I can’t find a category list that fits properly, not even one that I make up myself. No I’m not blaming everything on that one little problem that is just one of the obstacles, the amount of time it takes to do the task is another obstacle (I know spend 10 min every day; don’t work either). No this is something I need a large block of time maybe even two weeks.

I thought about that… All my papers, five changes of clothes, and a hotel room with room service and several experts on different types of business papers at my beck-and-call a box of garbage bags and 3 or 4 hanging file plastic banker boxes.

But when I think of something like that all my other obligations seem to turn on me, and cause even more anxiety.

Everything is important!

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