The Forums › Forums › For The Non-ADD › Other › parenting an \"adult\" child with ADD–so frustrating!!! › Reply To: parenting an \"adult\" child with ADD–so frustrating!!!
@Teabaglady, your husband sounds like my dad!
Always yelling at my mom, putting her down for every screw-up—which makes her screw-up even more, because ADD’ers don’t do well under pressure. And this makes her beat herself up even more for screwing-up.
It’s a vicious cycle that I’ve lived through too, and it really hurts to see it. My brother & I dread visiting our parents. We even have a mantra: “Thank god I don’t live with these people.” And, as the two of us are in the car together, heading back to our “sanctuaries”, we discuss the latest visit, try to make sense of it, and make jokes about it. Sometimes, you just have to laugh, which is why I have another mantra: “Someday, when there’s no longer any risk of being disinherited, I am going to write SUCH a book!”
It hurts to see Mom & Dad fighting the same battles, over & over, and dragging us into them, but what can we do? They have to get so fed up with what they’re doing, that they’re willing to do whatever it takes to stop it. They have to hit that rock bottom, before they’ll have a personal interest in fixing the problem. Until then, nothing will change.
Maybe letting them hit that rock bottom is the hardest part of all.
REPORT ABUSE