Reply To: Ritalin and the adventures of PigMonkey

[Robbo]

Great post @creativeonein, what ya said is very encouraging. Unfortunately for me, I only have a vague memory of what it was like to take the methylyphenidate. Mostly I remember how a couple of the people in my life responded to me when taking it.

It was also really cool the way that I suddenly became much more patient with what other folks had to say. It also made me feel really rotten about my personality and maybe even my character before taking it.

This was extremely unfair. I have got to officially apologize to myself about being so dang ridiculously strict, and even mean spirited.

To me!.

If anyone else in my life had talked to me the way my imagination has, about the way I interact with the world.

Well crap, I would probably just jump right down on them and lump up their poor innocent face!. I’m a lil bit bummed at the moment about how I’ve talked to a pretty lady I was dating a while back. Seems like it’s been months and months.

But it was last week…

AAACK!

I wish I could take back all those times that I snapped at her just because she was trying to give me a little bit of instruction about stuff that didn’t even add up to any freaking thing! Nothing! No big deal…

But I felt like she was trying to boss me around… The nerve of some people!. Actually it’s me with the nerve. Much too much nerve for my own good.

I’m looking foreword to the way the generic ritalin make my nerves much less touchy, sensitive and freaking hyper.

Are ya still out there @pigmonkey?

Let us know how you’ve been doing, okay? . It’s a pretty cool coincident that we’re both giving the ritalin a shot. For me it’s the second time. So it’s a lil less risky feeling for me.

Check in with us man. I like what ya said here:

Really, normal is one of my greatest worries.  I am not taking meds to be normal, I am taking meds to be productive.  If I go normal, the meds go in the toilet.

In fact “going normal” was a large part of my excuse for deciding to quit taking it. But recent events timed out just about perfectly in order for me to become willing to give them pills another shot.

It’s not likely the lady will allow me back into her life. And I can’t even tell you if I want her back  in mine. But the very painful and awful lesson is the same one I’ve been learning with many other relationships, all of them not romantic, and a lil less painful. But indeed, they are painful.

That all too familiar look of disappointment on the face of just about anyone I talk to when I interrupt… That’s the swan song of my existence.

The disgust I see on the face when I say something totally un-related (seemingly) to the current conversation. When all along, there are a couple (at least) other conversations going on simultaneously inside my imagination!.

It makes perfect sense to me. But only I can hear all the other conversations going on in my brain.

And my body language is all over the place. So there’s a slight clue that somethings going on under the hood.

I just can’t possibly articulate all of that!!! at least not as quickly as it’s going on!!! This can feel like a freaking emergency.

It’s embarrassing…  It just makes her crazy. And she’s in love with me ta boot. So I feel absolutely horrible and rotten. Yep, I fell for this gal in a huge way you guys… Can’t get her outa my system…

She asks me a question, (maybe a question about me over-thinking some seriously boring topic) and I have to decide on only one of the several answers generated inside my busy busy brain… And she give me that dang look again.

N says “get out”

so…

Yep, I got out.

next?

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