Thoughts on being diagnosed as an adult woman in Sweden.

[helenboll]

Hi!

I started another tread before, but felt it would be nice with a new one now that I’ve got my diagnosis and all. 🙂

I’m Helen, which in Swedish is pronounced with emphasis on the second E. =)

I’m 33 years of age and a librarian in training. I live with my boyfriend/husband to be Robert, and two cats; Zoë and Vide. She is a cat shelter kitten and he is a Cornish Rex. They are both insane, in that cute cat way.

I’ve always struggled with my emotions, being too sensitive, having tantrums and having to do things my way. Also impulsivity, attention decifit and a mix of hyperactivity and the opposite. Always been good at hiding my problems, overcompensating, and having a number of strategies in process. The fact that I am good with words, writing, reading and languages also “help” in hiding my shortcomings.

My big brother has ADD and is under investigation for Apergers as well. My dad is clearly a candidate for a diagnosis, and in my mother’s family kids with ADHD are popping up among my cousin’s children. I hope to be able to help them as they grow older.

I’m kind of geeky and nerdy and I think a lot. Love video games, books, tv shows, baking and flee market shopping. Cannot believe that we used to live without the internet, netflix, spotify and storytel. Everything must have been soooo time consuming! Paying bills, for example, my nemesis among chores.

I feel strongly for all who struggle in life. Those with mental illnesses, women, the underclasses. We used to have a wonderful social safety net in Swedish society, but unfortunately the sitting government has worked hard to dismantle it. Makes me seriously upset.

Getting the diagnosis feels like a victory to me. It will help me in life now, and also to forgive the past, I think.

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[sdwa]

In my experience, the more I know about ADHD and how it manifests for me, the more power I have to manage the symptoms and make choices that support my best functioning.

Too bad about the social safety network decline in Sweden. We often look to European countries as good examples of how to be socially responsible.

In the U.S., we never had much of that to begin with. Now there is a fight to increase the minimum wage to $15/hour. For most of us, if we don’t have jobs, we don’t have health insurance, or the healthcare that is available can’t be used everywhere, which often means getting substandard care.

From what I’ve heard, there is a very strong genetic component to ADHD, so it makes sense there are others in your family who are affected by it.

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[helenboll]

@sdwa Yes, but this year is election year, and hopefully the Socialdemokrater will get to form a new sitting government with the leftist party and other unevil parties. People are beginning to understand that the American model is not so great for the working classes or for anyone who is not wealthy.

U.S. economy and politics are very sad. People working 3 jobs and still not getting by! Insane.

Anyway. back to me me me. 😉 It feels like the Strattera is already doing good stuff! I am energetic and not mindnumbingly tired. I have the energy to do boring stuff, like google everything and clean. Even took the whiny cat out for his first spring stroll.

I am eager to hear what others here do to increase your quality of life. Meds, Omega 3, exercise, food, what else? Internet withdrawal is not an option for me. 🙂

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[blackdog]

There is a push to increase the minimum wage to $14/hr in Ontario. The problem is, when minimum wage goes up, prices go up. So if you are living on minimum wage, or worse, social assistance, it makes no difference. The only people who really benefit are the ones higher up the pay scale.

I don’t know how social services here compare to other countries but there is room for improvement. I suppose there always is.

And that’s all I have time for right now. I’m being hounded to surrender the iPad and I can’t hold out much longer.

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[Patte Rosebank]

@Blackdog, I just heard that the monthly employment statistics will now include UNDER-employment stats, too.  People who are working part-time jobs, jobs not in their field, jobs they’re way over-qualified for—just to pay the bills while they look for a “real” job.

This is a step in the right direction, because only tracking the numbers of employed & un-employed people doesn’t provide the full picture of the situation. Politicians are quick to trumpet how many thousands of jobs were created this month, but less quick to admit how many were just part-time, temporary, “joe” jobs, with low pay, no benefits, and no job security.

I wish our society could be more like in the Scandinavian countries, where the social safety net is so much stronger. Of course, their taxes are higher in order to support it, but when you see how much better it makes life for everyone there, it seems to be well worth it.

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[blackdog]

@Larynxa

That certainly is an improvement. They like to boast about how many new jobs are created and how unemployment numbers are down, but they never talk about how those people are really not any better off than before. It’s the same with Welfare. They barely give people enough to stay alive to start with and then expect them to just take any job that comes along, just so long as they aren’t on Welfare anymore. And all they ever talk about on the news is the “middle class”. It’s like the thousands of people who live below the poverty line don’t even exist.

I agree having a stronger social safety net makes life better for everyone. Higher taxes may be a necessity, but a lot of the funding that is needed could probably be easily found by managing things better and cutting back unnecessary expenditures.

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[helenboll]

Taxes are a bit higher, i guess, but this is included;

if your meditations cost more than 340 usd a year, you don’t pay any more than that.

Doctors appointments are always 30 usd, and if you pay 170 usd in a year, that is it.

Child care services are provided for every one, and you pay based on income.

School lunches are payed by taxes.

No fees for higher education. Students can get a special loan to live on, and part of it is given to you.

The parental insurance! Stay at home with your small children and get money based on income.

Can not write more now, iPad is Messing with me. Auto correct sucks in the wrong language.

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[shutterbug55]

Politics:

I agree with Thomas Jefferson, when he said that a government large enough to provide everything for it’s people is also large enough to take it all away. I would rather depend on myself. At least that way, I know the one person who is working on the issue, cares about the outcome.

It has been my experience, that no matter how impulsive we ADD’ers get with our spending, it is nowhere NEAR the waste the government has. Which is why I would like to see more local control of programs, rather than the huge beaurocracies generated by a central government.

 

I have talked with many people who are “under-employed” or unemployed and I was one of them for a long time. For me it was being uncomfortable while under employed that was the motivation I needed to change my situation. So I took a couple jobs that taught me a skill or set of skills I needed. Once learned, I got a “real” job and started using those skills I had learned to start my own business. It took time, discipline, and work to do, but I did it.

 

Now I am one of those “Evil” capitalists, that everyone feels justified to rob, just because I worked, and saved, and I looked beyond the now of instant gratification.

@helenbol

When I read the title of this thread, it parsed out to “thoughts on being diagnosed as an adult woman in Sweden”. I have been diagnosed with Dyslexia, ADD, and Autism. I have never been diagnosed as an adult woman in Sweden, or anywhere else for that matter. (rim-shot)  😛

 

I think the government programs that are set up, should be used temporarily as a way to becoming independent. They shouldn’t be used as a sole means of support for the rest of a person’s life. As such, maybe it is OK for the programs to not provide everything, or make a person uncomfortable. Isn’t the goal to become independent?

 

Just my humble opinion.

 

 

 

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[helenboll]

Yeah, coming up with a good topic name was hard. Recently I decided to stop caring about every little sentence I write being perfect, and just let go of that need. Takes too long to be perfect all the time.

The question is if you want to look at people as a whole or as individuals. Do you want them to be treated as equals or differently according to class or capability?

For me, I’d rather live in a community where people care about each other, about everybody.  Where we are allowed our weaknesses and different strengths. Where we work together towards common goals, not as individuals competing.

I would love to be able to work full time, but have learned the hard way that the way i am is not appreciated or respected, and that stress and being uncomfortable kills me, so to speak. You may call it weakness, i call it the reality of  my condition.

I know Sweden and the US are very different, in mentality and otherwise. We watch American Idol and laugh at the fools who think they can sing because they have been taught that they can to anything. You wonder why we pay taxes and let the government decide things for us.

Having different opinions is a part of life, and hearing other’s can be quite rewarding. Please don’t feel afraid to write, it is awesome to hear what you all have to say!

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[kc5jck]

I’m in the shutterbug55 camp.  Anything the government provides for its people has only had its cost increased by government inefficiency.  In the end, it is the common taxpayer who shoulders the burden through direct or indirect taxation.  It’s just that simple. ;(

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[blackdog]

@shutterbug55

“I think the government programs that are set up, should be used temporarily as a way to becoming independent. They shouldn’t be used as a sole means of support for the rest of a person’s life. As such, maybe it is OK for the programs to not provide everything, or make a person uncomfortable. Isn’t the goal to become independent?”

That’s the problem. The programs DO NOT help you to become independent. It’s exactly the opposite. They make it impossible for you to get ahead. Every case worker I have spoken to, for both Welfare and Disability Support, has agreed with me.

Your comments sound a lot like what all of us have heard our whole lives. It’s your own fault. You’re just lazy. If you would just try harder you could do it. If I can do it then why can’t you?

Well, if we were all identical clones living identical lives with identical circumstances, and we all just happened to be lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time, maybe that would be true.

I have typed and deleted more responses to this than I can count, trying to come up with the right thing to say. In the end, I am going to go with @helenboll:

“The question is if you want to look at people as a whole or as individuals. Do you want them to be treated as equals or differently according to class or capability?”

More eloquent, to the point, and polite than any of my responses.

 

 

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[helenboll]

Why thank you, @blackdog! I am quite happy about that little speech.

And I agree with you, being on welfare does not prepare you for going back to being a worthy human being. I had to apply for it when I became severely depressed, because as a student you have no rights, basically. Not to a-kassa (unenployment benefit) or the sjukförsäkring (health insurance benefit thingy.)

Anyway, after having turned in about 60 different documents and having met with a social worker, I was found to be in need of the welfare. Don’t know how much you get in the U.S, but here they pay your rent, electricity, some meds, insurances and then you get an amount to live on. 600 bucks, it translates into. Had to pay for food, telephone, broadband, transportation and everything else. Remember everything is more expensive here. =) I had to empty my wardrobe and home of everything of value to even get by. This while being suicidal. Not fun. Not encouraging in any way. After six months I went back to school even though I was far from ready. Also got a job at the college library here in town and worked nights and saturdays. Not sure how I managed, but I got by.

I will always be a leftie. I will always believe in the people, in supporting and helping each other. That makes what is happening in Sweden, and Europe, even the more frightening, as racist and even nazi parties make their way into the governments. How can we have possibly forgotten what happened here not even a hundred years ago? Frightens the living daylights out of me.

Enough with the politics for now. 🙂

This is day seven on Strattera, I am still doing well. Sleeping normally, waking up happy. I have energi and patience. I clean and organize a lot at home, and I am currently working on a job application for a job I would really like, as a librarian responsible for the children over 12, teens, young adults, students and immigrants learning Swedish. This is in a smaller town 30 km away, but the bus ride only takes 20 minutes. I am already working extra there, so it would be just amazing. I also think they would be ok with me and my ADD.
How is everyone else doing?
 

 

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[sdwa]

Here in the U.S. I would probably be considered a raging communist because I believe the wealthiest people should pay the highest percentage in taxes, and the government should use that money to provide social services including housing, healthcare, and public education through college. Not everyone starts life with the same advantages or abilities. In a caring society, people come first, and any job that needs to be done is worthy of respect. When everyone gets their basic needs met, the quality of life is improved for all. Unfortunately, it is often the case that if we are a little bit above the poverty line, we lose our benefits, and then sink back down because the cut-off point is too low. I don’t think as much any more about getting ahead as I do about having a place to live. There are too many homeless people here, and many of them have jobs.

Anyway…

@helenboll

Glad to hear the Strattera is working for you. Good luck with your job application. That sounds like it would be a nice environment to be in.

 

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[helenboll]

That is how I like ’em: raging and communists! @sdwa

That is very true, about homelessness. How are you supposed to get your life together if you don’t even have a steady point to call home?

And thank you! I am quite amazed at the effect. I find myself with nothing to do at this time in the morning and freak out a bit about being restless and not useful. it’s a change, for sure. 🙂

 

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[helenboll]

The weirdest, happiest thing just happened! The city library in my town (Gävle) just called and expressed an interest in me! I have an interview on the 25th. 😀

Life. So weird.

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