Reply To: Can someone please help me. I need advice.

[blackdog]

@zukosinferno

You are very welcome. We all know what it’s like to feel isolated and alone, like there is no one who understands and supports us. That is what is so great about Totally ADD. To echo what Larynxa said, hanging out here will help. Watch the videos, check out the webinar archives, and browse the forums to find tons of info and a few laughs. Sometimes laughter really is the best medicine and learning to laugh at yourself a little and not sweat the small stuff so much will help with the anxiety.

The feelings and doubts about yourself that you are experiencing are very common with ADHD. It’s easy to think that you are just being lazy, or stupid, or making things up. That if you only tried harder you could do it.

It’s because you are not stupid, or lazy, or crazy, and you know it. And yet you still constantly screw up. And it doesn’t make sense. So you blame yourself. And other people don’t understand what you are going through and they heap more blame onto you.

I was scared of going for a diagnosis for all the same reasons. But a good doctor will be able to tell that you are not making it up. There are distinctive features of ADHD that are unmistakable when you know what to look for.

And they won’t say that you don’t look like you have ADHD because you are overweight. Of all the stupid things I have heard of doctors saying, that one has to take the cake. There are no physical signs of ADHD. It is, in a sense, all in your head, because it is your brain that is affected. The connection between weight and ADHD in women I believe comes from a belief that women with ADHD are more likely to suffer from eating disorders or to binge eat due to impulsivity. In my case it is more just that I can’t be bothered going to all the work to make something to eat so I just grab whatever is available, which leads to some unhealthy choices.

There is no one test that can determine if you have ADHD. But there are some questionnaires that are usually used to determine the severity of symptoms and the impact they have on your life. And there are some computer tests that test your ability to pay attention and how impulsive you are. (I failed that one with flying colours.) And there are things that a good doctor will pick up on when he/she talks to you.

I am really tired because I have had too many late nights this week. So it is taking forever to type this out and I keep going back and editing but I can’t seem to say what I really want to say. So I am going to stop there for now.

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