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Not necessarily circular, but that self loathing, and no self worth is perceived by others. So they tell me. Conversely, the confidence over having something you enjoy is also perceived.
There are things you do better than most people, and derive enjoyment from doing them. I have no idea what they are. That is for you to find. Do you make models? Do you watch stars? Shoot pool? Something out there you enjoy doing and are good at.
Why do I harp on those things you are good at? Because the world is full of people telling us what we are doing wrong, and what we are doing poorly. Nobody is there telling us what we are good at. That wears us down, because it becomes a tape we run in our heads that gets played every time something goes wrong. We have to break that tape, or put another message on it. Finding those things we enjoy doing, is part of that. That way, when we hear “What? You failed again? Can’t you do anything right?” The answer becomes: “Yes as a matter of fact I can. I can put a ship in a bottle. ”
It is one thing that is easier for autistics, because we can zone out on something and have fun just learning and exploring. Returning to that thing is like a vacation retreat.
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