need advice

[sb12]

Hi everyone,

I recently started to think that maybe if I get treated for ADD my life would be better. I always knew I had it when I was younger I used to wonder how other kids weren’t looking around the room and were able to finish their papers in a reasonable time I always did good in school but never knew what was going on I always had to look at other peoples papers to figure out what we were doing was right out of time on tests and just filled in anything because I’d been daydreaming but school was easy because I was relatively smart and after a few years of floundering because my attention I figured out cooping skills and got straight A’s through college.  So anyway I had depression and anxiety for a long time.  I have started thinking maybe that anxiety was due to the attention since  I always felt like a deer in headlights when people talked to me because I never knew what they were talking about.    So I’ve been on Prozac for maybe four years and my attention has improved . For the first time in my life I’m able to listen to lyrics of a song or have a conversation that last more than a few minutes where actually listen to the people I don’t have to constantly flick channels I can just relax and my brain doesn’t jump around so much. I also don’t zone out like I used to .

This is so boring I know no one’s gonna want to read it . Anyway I’m tired of being such a procrastinator. I’m procrastinating right now actually.  And I have a complete inability to organize things like I just don’t understand organization it’s very scary to me to.  Also I’m always late for everything because there’s always just one more thing I have to do and prioritize poorly, and I lose everything all the time, everything.  My five-year-old doesn’t have these issues and she reminds me of dates when things are due and where my stuff is . And it’s starting to make me feel really crappy . Anyway I don’t know if I’ll be able to be diagnosed and possibly get medication if my thoughts aren’t as scattered or zoned out as they used to be because of the Prozac.  I don’t know if I should try going off of it- I know I should just see a doctor and I am on Tuesday I just don’t know what my best course of action is . And just because I’m seeing the doctor on Tuesday doesn’t mean that they will necessarily know the best course of action either, I put much more stock in people who deal with it every day than in people who have studied it.

Also will ADD medication make my brain be better able to organize things? And remember dates, and not be late for things , they seem like all behavioral things. Doing all the research I’ve been doing on this has made me feel really really crappy about myself by the way . Usually I just ignore all this stuff, thinking about it really stinks .

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[sb12]

Another thing, my aunt has ADD, and my dad is much worse than either of us, but no dx.  He does drink almost a pot of coffee a day, though. he is also super smart so maybe doesn’t need to compensate as much ? I don’t know but he’s hours late for everything, and mom takes care of all the finances and responsibilities. I also remembered when I was little my papers or locker would be always overflowing with trash and junk and God knows what. I was always late for every class . And always tell my mom at like 8 o’clock, oh no we have a project due tomorrow and you have to take me to the store get my stuff . In college I’d always wait till the day before a big thing was due, then work for 12 hours straight.  Like if I finish something the day before it was due and not the day it was due that was a major accomplishment.  I’m still like that now but there are much less papers for me to worry about.

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[domadhd]

This is my opinion only, so take it as you wish:

I am going to assume here that you do have ADHD. The only way to know is to read about people experiences and read medical articles – than be brutally honest to yourself about the symptoms eliminating the ones that you know are just your laziness or something. You have to remember that ADHD meds will make non-ADHD person high, unstable and eventually will ruin your  life, plus after some time they will stop working on non-ADHD brain so you will want more and more until there is no more.

Assuming you have ADHD – you should stop Prozac ASAP, but only with medical help, meaning tell the doc you don’t want it and he can tell you how to stop safely. You are treating side effects of ADHD and not the condition itself. Depression, anxiety, alcoholism, substance abuse, criminal record, bad driving habits are usually effect of untreated ADHD. I used weed for years to kill anxiety so I can make myself do work but it never helped the concentration. You cannot be taking any other “mind altering meds”
when trying ADHD meds because you will never be sure about the results.

Go talk to some smart doctor ( and in ADHD peps case there isn’t many smart docs out there ) and get ADHD diagnosis. This might take some time so do not get discouraged. From the first day you see your psychiatrist, after max 4 visits – he/she should have an answer for you. If they do not – push for decision or change the doctor – do not waste your time.
After that is the meds time. Noone that is an adult ( and for me is 21 and up ) should be scared of ADHD meds. They are here to help us with the symptoms and if properly taken with medical supervision WILL help you.

There are many “other” treatments of ADHD (like drinkin tons of coffee which is a stimulant ) and they might work for you but the chances are slim.

Another thing is that most-likely the first time you try any medication you will not have positive results, bad side effects etc. Do not get discouraged, specially in ADHD everyone responds differently to meds. I like Adderall but others like Concerta but once you get diagnosed stay positive and hopefull because it is very important to have the right state of mind. You WILL find the solution but not without going thru some hurdles first.

I always say this to everyone !! Read and research about everything. There is way to much assumption out there. Amphetamines (and such) are for ADHD like heroin ( morphine) is for pain.

 

 

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[wiredonjava]

That’s great advice domadhd. Experience does speak volumes. I have a question for ya. Please see your inbox. Thanks!

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[domadhd]

I would be happy to answer all your questions here so others might use this info for their benefit unless it is something you do not want to share with others.

I went thru hell getting to the point I am right now and places like this might spare others the pain and greatly improve their quality of life.

 

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[sb12]

I do want to try the medication , and with my anxiety I’m hoping that maybe we do something like Wellbutrin or something that won’t make me anxious . It’s going to sound odd but will wellbutrin or another adhd med help me think in a more organized pattern?  Like with directions for driving . I am horrific at  knowing I’m at or how to get somewhere, because it all kind of blends together in my head.  Same with files or papers, I can have an important papers place or a few places but the thought of breaking them into categories just doesn’t work in my head.  Will medication help with this, like prioritizing and categorizing things in my head?  What about knowing how long things take? As a coping mechanism I generally just add 10 minutes to whatever I think will be the right amount time for something because people always look at me like I’m crazy when I say we can get something done in five minutes and it will more likely take 20 .   Just let me know if these questions are goofy.

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[sb12]

So I’ve been thinking about things I did when I was younger that were impulsive.  Organization and attention problems have always been things I was aware of but now after reading all this information, I can think of a lot of things I’ve done without thinking: going into superiors office to give an idea or complain about something without planning to or thinking things through, spur of the moment lodging a complaint against a boss, written on a RECEIPT 😑, hitchhiking, stealing, getting kicked out of the gifted class for blurting out something very inappropriate, hurting people’s feelings by saying something rude, pulling a knife on my dad because I thought he was going to yell at me or smack me- I remember it being in my hand and being like omg what are you doing? I backed up towards the door dropped it and ran down the street.  I also really hurt a girl one time by pushing her into a pool .  I just did it I don’t know why, we weren’t even really friends and she was crying so I ran down the street that time too.   I’m sorry for clogging up the forum with this stuff, I just never thought about it and I’m kind of taken aback to see patterns in my life that I wasn’t aware of.  My ex husband used to say that I had that Muppets Mahamana song in my head, like just coasting through life without paying attention.  It was much easier to do that than all of this self reflection.  Hopefully my life will be a lot better because of it though.

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[sb12]

So I’ve been thinking about things I did when I was younger that were impulsive.  Organization and attention problems have always been things I was aware of but now after reading all this information, I can think of a lot of things I’ve done without thinking: going into superiors office to give an idea or complain about something without planning to or thinking things through, spur of the moment lodging a complaint against a boss, written on a RECEIPT 😑, hitchhiking, stealing, getting kicked out of the gifted class for blurting out something very inappropriate, hurting people’s feelings by saying something rude, pulling a knife on my dad because I thought he was going to yell at me or smack me- I remember it being in my hand and being like omg what are you doing? I backed up towards the door dropped it and ran down the street.  I also really hurt a girl one time by pushing her into a pool .  I just did it I don’t know why, we weren’t even really friends and she was crying so I ran down the street that time too.   I’m sorry for clogging up the forum with this stuff, I just never thought about it and I’m kind of taken aback to see patterns in my life that I wasn’t aware of.  My ex husband used to say that I had that Muppets Mahamana song in my head, like just coasting through life without paying attention.  It was much easier to do that than all of this self reflection.  Hopefully my life will be a lot better because of it though.

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[wiredonjava]

Oh my goodness, it took me two hours to pay my gas bill yesterday. I finally found my bill (2 months late) then look for a pen, locate my chequebook, while misplacing the bill. look for the bill..lose the chequebook, find the gas bill from last month, read the newspaper, daughter finds the current bill on light switch…only to find out I lost all my stamps from my wallet! What will my senior years be like? I shudder to think about it!

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[seabassd]

@sb12 , It sounds like you’ve had some good results with Prozac. I believe I read somewhere that Prozac was being prescribed for adults with ADHD with some positive results. I guess this could just be due to the reduction in anxiety, depression, etc. from taking Prozac and therefor a person is less distracted. Not sure really.

I’ve taken Prozac in the past but I ran into some sleep disturbance with it so I eventually got off of it. I think it helped cut down on some of the anxiety I experienced with ADHD meds, so you may want to consider that if you decide to start taking stimulant meds. I’ve never taken Welbutrin or other non-stimulant ADHD meds so I can’t really speak on that. Hopefully your PDoc will help you in making the right decision.

As far as Stimulants go I’ve tried just about everything. It’s only been recently that I’ve stumbled across one that works for me. I’ve taken Vyvanse, Focalin, Ritalin and  Concerta. Now I’m on Adderall. So far so good. So if you decide to take ADHD specific medication be sure to try different ones out. Don’t make the mistake like I did and lock into a specific stimulant despite experiencing some pretty yucky side-effects. I settled on Ritalin( which for me was creating some pretty bad anxiety and depression)(everyone has different experiences with different meds.). I didn’t want to test drive any more meds so I settled. I was being impatient, like we can be from time to time. The result was that I fell into a depression which I’m just now coming out of. What’s funny is that I kept blaming myself for the depression without considering the stimulant side-effects.

As far as memory and organization I love learning techniques like “Chunking”. You know ,breaking a large task down into really small bite size bits that aren’t overwhelming. I use to have to write this down, but now I just sort of do it naturally.  I also like “Stepping Away”. This is where I focus on something else for a bit and then come back with a fresh perspective to the project I’m trying to complete. I also find that alternating mental tasks with physical tasks to be helpful. Another good one is just writing down two or three of the most important tasks for that day instead of a giant to-do list, which just overwhelms me. I still have to use these techniques despite taking medication though.

Medication helps calm me down so I can sit still for more than a few minutes, so it helps me stay consistently on task. I also think it helps me prioritize things a bit better. I guess it makes me a bit more of a linear thinker, like first do this, and then this and so on. This is good in many situations but I prefer to lower my dose or skip it when I need to be creative. So I try to schedule dosing depending on my needs. “Pills don’t teach skill”  – Right?

I’m going long as I always do. One last thing though not really related to anything you mentioned in your post.

Watch out for perfectionism. This has been one of my bugaboos. I kept wanting medication to turn me into a perfectly functioning person. In some cases this lead me to increase doses and push myself harder and harder. Not saying that this is something that you are or would have to deal with. Just a side note I wanted to share.

Keep us up to date on what you decide. Wish you the best.

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[sb12]

@wire- I know exactly what you mean!

@seabassd– very helpful advice. I really appreciate it .

This new doctor already prescribed me Focalin, 10mg. I  go back in 2 weeks to see how it is going.  This made me nervous, she seemed good, but now I hope she isn’t a quack.  I could have been lying, I would think she would want to see me a few times first.  She also had me stop tapering down the Prozac . She wants to see how they work together for me.  She also thinks finding the right med may be extra hard because medications usually have the upset effect on me ie coffee marijuana Nyquil.

I am starting to feel the effects of reducing the Prozac . My head is being bombarded with so many thoughts.  I completely forgot what this was like, and I keep finding myself being super expressive with my face . I was always like that like I couldn’t hide what I was thinking but it went away on the higher dose of Prozac . Now I keep making faces about everything.  So strange I hadn’t even realized I had stopped but with less Prozac it just came right back.

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[sb12]

Why did a dialog box pop up that said “slow down , you go too fast?”

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[seabassd]

sb12 , I think I remember after about 4 weeks or so on Prozac it was like I stopped ruminating so much. It sort of caught me off guard, one day I just realized I wasn’t in my head as much. So I guess it makes sense that decreasing the dose may mean a increase in thoughts or at least an increase in awareness. You can always go back up. Something you can discuss this with your PDoc. It’s also possible things will level out a bit over time.

I always think everyone in the mental health profession is a quack. Not sure why this is though. I didn’t really trust my PDoc at first, but he surprises me from time to time. If I’m honest with him he usually has some good med advice.

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[Patte Rosebank]

@SB12, Prozac (and Paxil) can be very dangerous for people with ADHD, especially if they’re also taking ADHD meds. The side effects can be so serious, and strike so suddenly, that the FDA has issued a “Black Box Warning” about it.

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[lindsey3]

Hi sb12, I agree with Larynxa, and just to expand sideways for a moment – depression is often a side affect of undiagnosed ADHD, along with anxiety / anxiety or panic disorder. Both of these are mental health consequences but ADHD isn’t in and of itself a mental health problem. Somewhere along the line you have to make a decision about yourself,  gather all your strength and move in a direction that is about both acceptance of your ADHD and related support. The ADHD medication Methylfenidate boosts your ability to concentrate and get moving around, but is also known to lift some aspects of depression.

Decide whether you want to move away from Prozac and onto ADHD only meds – this will take time but may well open up a future for you in the longer term.

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