Reply To: lost my keys

[Galadriel724]

I was able to copy/ paste the blog post mentioned above. I couldn’t link to it without making it public and searchable again….
It is called:
COGNITIVE DISSONANCE: BEING OF HIGHER IQ YET FUNCTIONALLY RETARDED

I don’t know whether to laugh, shake my head, get really scared, or angry… Welcome to my world, and today a bit of my hell. My ADHD can impair me to the point where the fear sets in. I get so scared of so many things when this stuff happens.
I had CPR class today at 8am. I work nights and bedtime is about 6am when I’m home. After about 1am I couldn’t take my sleep meds because they zonk me for a good 6hrs- would’ve slept through the class.
So I stayed up- would have been like sleeping all day if I hadn’t. I made sure I knew what clothes I would wear. I made a list of all the things that one would bring to a CPR class. I put them in my bag, which goes on a bin by my door. Usually. Keys go on the red hook. I usually remember to put this stuff where it goes, although it will never be automatic- get rid of launch pad and I’d chuck my bag somewhere different every day.
I do the best I can, and almost just wrote how badly I want things to work, or explained all the reasons someone could want it and not just do it. Sounds like BS. I wouldn’t believe me. Really, does it matter? “The road to hell is paved with good intentions” I think Ben Franklin said that…If shit doesn’t get done, it doesn’t matter how much I tried, you don’t get credit for trying.
So after prepping and doing everything but making a specific list or generalizing the knowledge into a list of things to bring EVERY time I go out, I figured I’d gotten set up very well.
Until 7:10. I grabbed all my stuff, my keys- wait. STOP. Where were they?
I remembered cleaning the night before for hours and seeing them but not where. I searched everywhere. Then it was too late to go to the class. Called a friend to vent, but ended up in tears, as some people just don’t understand I didn’t mean to lose the keys.
Asking me why I didn’t put the keys away where they were supposed to go repeatedly and forcing me to admit that I was lazy is mean.
The conversation via text lasted 3 hrs. I looked for the keys the whole time. I was out of cigarettes, food, and was really really hungry. But I couldn’t go get food without keys.
I was unable to meet my own needs and that scared me badly. Things have been getting worse ever since I had a concussion 2 yrs ago, and I don’t know if it’s from that, but it feels like its getting worse and worse and I am not trying less.
Then as I walked towards the stairs I saw this

(IN ORIGINAL BLOG POST THERE IS A PICTURE OF MY KEYS HANGIMG ON A HOOK. NEXT TO THE HOOK HOLDING THE KEYS WAS A RED HOOK, WHICH IS WHERE TO KEYS WERE SUPPOSED TO BE PUT.)

I did put the keys back, and I forgot that I had done what I was supposed to do. I looked on the red key hook. That in my mind is the place the keys go. Note the lack of redness on this hook. Red hook was 18 in away. I didn’t think to look. Because the keys go on the red hook, and this one did not exist in my mind. Because it’s not red….
And keys only go on the red hook.

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