Reply To: My parents don't take add serious

[gianmaria]

Hi helena,
I feel for you. I was diagnosed ADD only last year, and I’m 35. Luckily I did not have to confront my parents on this. Not that they would have been dismissive, but I can see how they could have said something similar. Hell, I was very much like that until not so long ago. I would often pass “moral” judgement on people suffering from depression, anxiety or with learning disabilities… or on their parents.

I kind of get the “wishful thinking” idea. I often (and I feel so bad admitting this) saw people stuck in bad places in their lives as kind of enjoying self-commiseration, like they lacked the will to change.

An ADD diagnose would be like a free ticket to just do nothing about one’s problem.

That is what my 20-year old self would have thought, and I can see how that attitude could have been influenced by my parents (whom I love very much and have been good parents, all things considered).

Today I have some problems with my spouse. She does accept the diagnosis and has tried to understand what this is about.

However I’ve got the impression that she thinks I want to use ADD as an excuse for acting like an a****le.

It often feels like the old “well, it’s up to you” thing. Of course the difference is that she has to live with me and we are supposed to relate to one another as peers, and that is not often the case.

I suppose that I must learn to accept how she feels. She has every right to get frustrated at me…

but I digress.

On the site you’ll find plentiful of tips on how to handle people who are dismissive or outright ignorant about ADD.

I also encourage you to reach out to other ADDers (like you did when writing to this forum). Not feeling alone in you struggle helps a great deal.

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