My parents don't take add serious

[helena]

I hate my parents sometimes, They have told me ( my mom is a doctor) that they think I have ADD. However, after casually saying that while talking about learning “disorders” at dinner (this was half a year ago), they began talking about the fact that they think all those labels are bullshit and that the children who are labelled as it in most cases don’t have a disorder at all and that they should just learn to live with it like everyone else, aargh, I don’t know how to say this, but, it’s just a thing that THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND A THING!! They do not know how hard it is to live in constant panic, shyness and social awkwardness. After they mentioned it, a month later, I looked it up, read on several websites the symptoms. While my parents said I have ‘some’ of the symptoms, I have them almost all, perhaps save one or something, but still!!!! Meanwhile, my concentration in classes has started to grow even worse and it mostly isn’t until 10 p.m. that I start working for school. Today, I was almost driven crazy by the sounds and rumours and just by looking at things (the last because I see, like to much, so it becomes a blur), which is really a problem, because I have to draw a lot for school and then I really have to look at things. I am a social disaster, I am really awkward, can’t listen to people, constantly interrupt them, say things I regret and stuff. My room looks like it was hit by an ear shake and one of my primary-school teachers told me that my drawer looked like Haiti. I am now 15year. I also am really possessive and clingy about people who I trust.  I can’t keep track of time. I day dream a lot and always forget things or make the most stupid mistakes because of inattention. I love to read an watch movies, but I always, always flip to the end of the book and skip parts of the movie. The thing is, I have thought about bringing it up, but my parents said that evening that they think people get add because of the label often and wishful thinking, like I would WANT add! I always try to make systems for myself, but they never work and I always abandon projects. One night, we were talking about my cousin, who is 26, I think and recently by an psychologist told he has add. Turns out his parents knew and he was mad at them. Something my family called “unrightfully”, Now, you should know, he had a hard time in high school, he passed, because he was smart, but he never opened his text books until the limit, something my parents and sisters, though not in the same words call “lazy”, which I agree to, but it’s not our fault entirely, especially, with parents knowing it and not doing a thing! They think I would use it as an excuse!

Sorry, just had to say that at someone. Do you guys know what to do, because, my life is a mess and all that I do goes amiss.

REPORT ABUSE

[helena]

Also, I’ve been trying to subtly tell them how it affects my life, but my mother says I should just take some vitamins, go outside more (she blames things always at that) and that it isn’tt that grave, because I always have been messy and inattentive and stuff

REPORT ABUSE

[aviez]

You may ask them to watch the presentations at Dan Duncans web site. He presents the ADD brain in way easy to understand and is backed by solid scientific research.

 

Abraham Breuer

ADHD Family Coach

REPORT ABUSE

[helena]

Thank you, aviez, I’ll try to show them 🙂

REPORT ABUSE

[gianmaria]

Hi helena,
I feel for you. I was diagnosed ADD only last year, and I’m 35. Luckily I did not have to confront my parents on this. Not that they would have been dismissive, but I can see how they could have said something similar. Hell, I was very much like that until not so long ago. I would often pass “moral” judgement on people suffering from depression, anxiety or with learning disabilities… or on their parents.

I kind of get the “wishful thinking” idea. I often (and I feel so bad admitting this) saw people stuck in bad places in their lives as kind of enjoying self-commiseration, like they lacked the will to change.

An ADD diagnose would be like a free ticket to just do nothing about one’s problem.

That is what my 20-year old self would have thought, and I can see how that attitude could have been influenced by my parents (whom I love very much and have been good parents, all things considered).

Today I have some problems with my spouse. She does accept the diagnosis and has tried to understand what this is about.

However I’ve got the impression that she thinks I want to use ADD as an excuse for acting like an a****le.

It often feels like the old “well, it’s up to you” thing. Of course the difference is that she has to live with me and we are supposed to relate to one another as peers, and that is not often the case.

I suppose that I must learn to accept how she feels. She has every right to get frustrated at me…

but I digress.

On the site you’ll find plentiful of tips on how to handle people who are dismissive or outright ignorant about ADD.

I also encourage you to reach out to other ADDers (like you did when writing to this forum). Not feeling alone in you struggle helps a great deal.

REPORT ABUSE

[helena]

Thank you very much, it’s very nice to hear of someone with the same problems as I, good luck

REPORT ABUSE

[helena]

Thank you very much, it’s very nice to hear of someone with the same problems as I, good luck

REPORT ABUSE

[Author]

Posts