Reply To: How do I make myself SHUT UP?

[Anonymous]

You brought up a bunch of things that were not relevant. You started the “argument” that it could never be Asperger’s. However, incessant talking is a natural trait associated with Asperger’s, not ADHD. Impulsively blurting out is a trait of AD/HD. Particularly, it can be spotted in short, choppy speech patterns.

Interrupting other people, listening in, being rude is not hard wired to AD/HD. That is an emotional response; as I took the time to write and explain over and over and over.

I gave you the references. Read, rather than skipping over what I said. You probably run this same pattern talking. You don’t want to hear what the other people have to say, just about making your point and getting a response. I see it all the time with our clients.

I have a list of 100 of the most common words people with AD/HD use to describe how they feel. NONE of them are hard wired.

No symptoms of AD/HD are emotional.
Emotions are BEHAVIORS are INDICATORS only, not symptoms. They are in the process of revising the DSM right now to revise the portions about ADHD.
A thermometer measures the temperature of a body, but does not say the root of the problem. An elevated temperature is an indicator, but not the problem.
Anxiety or feeling fractured are indicators, but neurotypical people have those same indicators for various things rooted in their psychology.
People with ADHD experience high emotional states. However, the emotions are all over the place and are indicators of a SOURCE issue.
The SOURCE is based in our core psychology that we ADOPT by about age 6.
We adopt our psychology from the people around us during that time. IT IS LEARNED. We make the interpretations of our world. Our dark side (negative emotions) is created by repressed feelings about…fill in the blank. Just read Carl Jung. I don’t have to prove him.

It is well known…our parents exhibit a trait. We mirror or match that trait or traits. This is why we all marry the mirror or match of our opposite sex parent. Read up, it is Psychology 101.

Before age 6 you made interpretations of your world based on the people and situations around you.
The things that made you feel bad or good became patterns you repeat over and over. If mom praised you and you like that feeling, you will continue repeating patterns in your life to bring that feeling to you.
These manifest in addictive behaviors, on our dark side. If dad challenged you in such a way that you became anxious, you’ll find ways to bring anxiety into your life.

So…by the time we hit elementary school, we begin attracting into our lives the same patterns. We will seek out the teacher that praises us or the customer that gives us great feedback. We will also seek out situations that provide us anxiety or perpetuate situations that make us feel fractured. We create our own heaven or hell, it is not accidental.

I can demonstrate real world applications how this manifests in people with AD/HD. It is everywhere.

Someone with AD/HD that is shaking or wiggling their leg…that is an indicator of an emotional disconnect.
A child rolling around on the floor and acting out…that is an indicator of an emotional disconnect.
Distraction…an indicator of natural brain function, seeking answers or data and the block…that is an indicator of an emotional disconnect.
Hyperfocus to the point of being harmful…that is an indicator of an emotional disconnect.

 

Demonstrating this is rather simple. Each time something happens like interrupting, inserting yourself into a conversation or being rude, the question to ask is “What am I feeling right now?” (This is the exact same question most good psychologists ask during a session. Feelings are INDICATORS.)

Someone will actually get an emotional high from what they are doing, even if it is harmful. We all learned that, I guarantee it. (Our parents did not intentionally teach us. We attach meaning to our world. We can see that in “fear.” There are only two natural fears in life, every other fear we learn. “Don’t touch that, it is hot!” We do not have a natural fear of a hot stove.

I have our university research we did on the disconnects that occur. Take a child with ADHD that naturally learns by exploration and put them in a classroom with neurotypical children and the behaviors start. “Johnny, sit down and please be quiet.” Very quickly Johnny learns that his natural patterns of learning are “bad”. However, since Johnny naturally knows his method of learning is what works for him, he gets “frustrated”. When the teacher says, “Stop getting out of your seat (to learn) or I will punish you.” Johnny gains anxiety over punishment. Perhaps even feelings of inferiority because his classmates are now making fun of him. (This is why we see children in some countries that don’t appear to have ADD. The way the children are taught is very different.)

Should you really think the is BS. My wife, spends her days as a psychologist & expert in AD/HD, breaking the bad habits created by TEACHERS in children with ADHD. Our school system actually thwarts how those with ADHD naturally learn. There are schools just for kids with ADHD and the kids have no behavioral issues and don’t need to be drugged. I was part of a team that was funded by the US Department of Education that did this with teens. We issued thousands of pages of research. Believe me, I really don’t care what some pop-culture doctor says about ADHD, I see it every day up close. I have also seen adults BREAK these patterns and get complete command of their ADHD.

I really don’t need to prove anything, what I say is common in psychology. I don’t need to show research. I guess I could paste in all the writings of Freud or Jung or you could read up on it yourself.

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