The Forums › Forums › The Workplace › Strategies for Work › How do I make myself SHUT UP?
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April 5, 2013 at 4:09 pm #120005
I am in school to be a teacher. I am starting a new field experience Monday. (I observe the class, they let me lead a few classes, plan a few lessons)
My last field Experience, I gave the kids (high school seniors) a survey and asked for feedback. A repeated comment was to not interrupt people. Apparently I had interrupted my mentor teacher during a few class discussions.
Shit, people. How am I not going to interrupt her?! Anyone have any strategies? I’m obnoxious with gum. How do I shut up?!
note: I recently came off Strattera and am 3 days into a new Welbutrin XR regimen. That’s still working itself out in my system.
REPORT ABUSEApril 6, 2013 at 3:32 pm #120028@Babyjo, oh, it’s tough. The only way I can do it is to think about the situation I’m going to be in and firmly tell myself that I will listen and maintain eye contact. Also, I tell myself that my opinion/thoughts are not critical to discussion. That sounds like low self esteem (it’s not), but it does reduce the number of times I feel the need to interrupt.
When I first started this little routine, when I didn’t want to over-talk, beforehand I wrote down my fears, my plans not to talk, etc. And that’s great, if that’s what it takes. But I find that it’s difficult to make myself do the writing. Now I just do the self-talk.
That’s all I got. No silver bullet unfortunately.
REPORT ABUSEApril 6, 2013 at 8:37 pm #120038Just wanted to say, I have this problem too. Major.
REPORT ABUSEApril 6, 2013 at 8:58 pm #120040I dont know, but if you figure it out let me know. Over sharing and blurting are two of my attributes.
REPORT ABUSEApril 6, 2013 at 9:54 pm #120044I have this problem too. It’s something that I need to consciously work at not doing. It’s a daily fight…
REPORT ABUSEApril 7, 2013 at 7:27 am #120046It’s an ADD thing. When we have an “idea,” a “thought,” we HAVE to tell everybody about it RIGHT NOW. It becomes immediately so urgent it simply cannot wait. What we want to say is much more important than what others are trying to say.
But I think the real issue with blurting goes beyond impulsive talking——it’s also the inability to listen. i.e., it’s… attention deficit. When others speak we quickly tune out, preferring to pursue our own lines of thought. Then we vocalize our own notions the second they’ve taken shape enough to articulate. Sometimes before! We don’t even realize we’re interrupting. Our heads are elsewhere. It’s not dissimilar to trying to read a book——when we take one mental detour after another our minds are silently blurting, preferring our own thoughts to those of the author. It’s hard for me to see any real solution. To keep our mouths shut when we have something “important” to say would be Chinese water torture for an ADDer. Knowing we DO blurt and trying VERY HARD not to may be the best we can do. But I’d be very interested to hear any suggestions…
REPORT ABUSEApril 7, 2013 at 4:13 pm #120049Thanks Marie. It’s worth a shot!
The rest of you were not helpful at all, lol
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Try Marie’s tip, couldn’t hurtApril 7, 2013 at 4:14 pm #120050My brain is going so fast and my hands are going so slow due to my learning disability’s. it is hard to get out my thoughts . so you all always get the impatient distracted version of what I would really like to say!OH WELL!!! this is for the most part the very condensed version of my whole thoughts.
REPORT ABUSEApril 7, 2013 at 4:16 pm #120051But you guys make me feel less alone, at least!
REPORT ABUSEApril 8, 2013 at 2:29 pm #120059Yep, just a little bit of basic psychology 101. And if you’re like me, just practice a little bit more patience.
The only way I can do it is to think about the situation I’m going to be in and firmly tell myself that I will listen and maintain eye contact. Also, I tell myself that my opinion/thoughts are not critical to discussion.
Simple, brilliant. But not easy. There was a great thread a while back about this topic. Similar at least. The solution was to keep a note pad in your lap. Just write down the questions you’ve got. Or any random thoughts you’ve got. Keep em for later, when you’ve got a chance to decide just how important it is to actually say what you were thinking.
Self restraint is golden.
Show the person you’re talking to some respect. Let her finish what she’s got to say.
I wish I could do this more often. I’d be alone much less.
…………………………—————-………………………….
It’s lonely as hell being the worlds fastest interrupter. I have pushed many lovely ladies out of my life just by not letting them complete a freaking sentence once on a while. Some day I hope to get the hang of it.
Some day.
It’s probably too late for “Dorothy” though, maybe not. Heck, all I’ve got is my imagination, and it’s always against me. It’s ridiculous It lies too. My mom used to, and probably still does say “you don’t listen”. Well I do. I just don’t always remember everything because my mind is going about a freaking million miles an hour and my dang doc won’t let me start taking Ritalin again. I was taking it this time last year. Worked great!. But I listened to my imagination too dang much… It lied to me and said “you’re acting like a dang grown man too much, you’re freaking boring man!!!. nobody will like you if you stay so mellow”. Well crap you guys. I didn’t have anyone to really talk to about this stuff. So I decided on my own to quit taking it.
Now look at me… No, don’t. I ain’t doing very good. It’s the shit you guys.
It’s The Shits!!!
It’s shit.
Ya win some, ya lose some. Losing does not make us a loser. Feeling like a looser don’t make us a loser. But I’m feeling like I should have a dang L on my forehead today.
I’m gonna go check in the mirror just to make sure I didn’t walk in my restless sleep last night and paint one on… Don’t ask me what the heck I’m talking about. I don’t want to get too deep into all my personal crap. That ain’t what I’m here for. I’ll just kinda hint around and the rest is up to your imagination you guys.
Let me know how I did, okay? :-D~
R-
REPORT ABUSEApril 9, 2013 at 5:50 am #120060don’t feel bad my friend, you are not alone. after years of undiagnosed ADHD , a lot of us have a BIG pile of crap of our own to deal with.
REPORT ABUSEApril 9, 2013 at 3:46 pm #120061LOL, you’re welcome, @Babylo, this is how the conversation would go if we were in a room together.
I take notes as well, but that’s not always feasible. I’m trying to learn to not over-explain, to state the Big Point first, then let others ask questions if needed.
One thing I’m having some success with is to ask questions, either in response or after a sentence or 2. I’m getting better at this.
What have you been trying, Babylo? 😉
REPORT ABUSEApril 9, 2013 at 4:56 pm #120064I don’t know if this applies to this topic, but does anyone else have a problem of talking in circles (I.e. repeating the same thing over and over)…be it intentional or unintentional? I do this all the time! It’s maddening! does anyone have any advice?
REPORT ABUSEApril 9, 2013 at 5:15 pm #120066I do this but I’m improving. Usually I do it to emphasize a point after I’ve rambled on a bit. Now that I’m aware of it (and how annoying it is), I’m stopping myself more.
Do you have a particular pattern or situation that makes you more prone to talk in circles or repeat?
REPORT ABUSEApril 9, 2013 at 6:02 pm #120068@MarieAngell– I tend to talk in circles when it comes to dealing with my alcoholic mom, or when I’m really focused on expressing my opinion in conversation.
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