Reply To: ADHD/non verbal 40 yr old single father

[adhdj]

Hello Richard,

I completely feel your pain and understand where you are coming from. Time to fix what’s wrong and the financial resources to do it are the biggest obstacles.

Unfortunately for me, I suffered from both obstacles. I wanted to get help back in 2015/2016 while there was still time before the birth of our son.

My wife “wouldn’t let” me get the help I needed. She made me feel guilty, said our love should be enough, and that “I was hiding behind a label” and making excuses.

I should’ve just went to the doctor without my wife’s approval and got back on my antidepressants and ADHD meds. I felt like I would’ve been lying to her and betraying our trust so I didn’t and just continued to suffer in silence for the most part. Any time I would try to share what was wrong with my wife, she’d just get angry, or frustrated with me and look disappointed in me.

What I’m just realizing now is that all the people including our wives/partners who say we’re making excuses and hiding behind a diagnosis,

these people are being discriminatory towards us and they don’t even realize it. The same with employers who won’t acknowledge or accept put conditions. It is 100% discrimination, then perhaps we are better off without our partner/employer. Do we really want to be with people who discriminate us? I sure don’t!

I saw my psychiatrist yesterday, and the same thing he just gave me a prescription. I said I still can’t believe there are no services?? There are tons of services for kids but what happens to these kids when they grow up? They still need a support system.

He just shrugged his shoulders and told me that he has patients who are university professors, engineers, lawyers and various careers.

I said that’s great but what about all the unemployed ADHD/learning disabilities people out there? I said to home that it would be of the government’s interest to have services in place for adults to help us find and keep good jobs.

With all the unemployed people with such conditions out there, that’s a lot of people who could be paying more for income taxes. He did agree with me

I asked him if someone in your position could lobby for adult services to the government to put services in place as someone in your position would be more listened to by the government than I

He basically said he “didn’t have time”

I look at some of the college courses nearby to better myself and I’m definitely not in a financial position to take a 1yr program with 1 course costing almost $600 CAD

So how are we to better ourselves?

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