Help!! I fear I've reached the edge of the cliff!!

[Anonymous]

I just saw the film on OPB and found this site. I’m 44yrsold unemployed Single mom of almost 18 yr old. This is important because in 2 months when she turns 18 my gov. financial help will end. In a frantic attempt to replace this income I have applied for college and financial aid and will begin school in two weeks. I have been unemployed for 2 yrs and haven’t been to college since 1996. I don’t know if I can do this successfully. I don’t even know what I want to learn. I ran and ruined a successful business. I haven’t been able to recover from that loss in the 5 yrs since I lost the business and had to leave my home. I have several Great Ideas to start another but don’t have the passion or drive I had before. I haven’t interviewed for any jobs recently because i feel so bad about myself I don’t think I’m even employable. I’m scared to death I’m going to end up living on the street if I don’t do something quick.

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[jpsimard]

Hey amazon,

I’m not sure which country you’re in, so I’m not sure how helpful this advice will be… but I think the best thing you could do would be to go to your gp and get a referral to an ADD specialist, if you feel like you may have it. I’m 32, and I was only recently diagnosed. It was a little scary to reach out for the help, but to be completely honest with you… it was a godsend.

While you’re at your doctor’s office make sure you tell them everything you’ve told us here. There are definitely other options (in Canada) for people who have neurological conditions which are disabling. Talk to them about it.

Either way, best of luck. Don’t give up! Once you have a window into why your life has been this way, it’s the first step towards taking control of it. Keep us posted!

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[Anonymous]

Thank you for the reply. I’m in the US and was diagnosed with ADD a couple of years ago but didn’t really know what it was until a couple of days ago. I have been taking adderal and Klonapin since that diagnosis. I have been on a number of different antidepressents most recently effexor for about 13 years.

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[jpsimard]

I’d say going to talk to your specialist wouldn’t be a bad choice, since it would seem that your treatment plan isn’t working up to it’s full potential. I’m Canadian, so I can’t tell you where to look, but I know that the States do support people with long term disabilities… there must be a program officer near where you live that could help you out?

My only other bit of advice for you would be to look for a therapist/life coach. If that intimidates you, I’d go out and by Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Dummies. My doc recommended it to me…. said that any other book on the topic wouldn’t be engaging enough for an adder’s mind.

I definitely wouldn’t give up hope, there are treatments for what’s going on with us. It’s just a matter of getting the help that’s out there… it’s hard, but once you get it, trust me, it’s worth it.

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[jpsimard]

http://www.benefits.gov/ssa

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[Lindstr7]

Amazon, I’m 50 and have a 16 year old. When she graduates all support will end so I know how you must be feeling. I would say first of all try not to panic or you won’t be able to make good choices. I too want to go back to school but have doubts about myself. I think you can do it and I encourage you to GO FOR IT! From your post you seem anxious (for good reason), and I wonder if the klonopin is working for you? I can’t answer questions about meds but I can offer you support, being in a similar situation. I am not on any ADD meds yet but will be going tomorrow to seek meds.

When I took a class last year, it was through a “Women in Transition” program at my community college. It was a way for women to feel comfortable going back to school and most were women my age. I felt SO comfortable being around women my age in similar situations. I only took one class (social anxiety,etc), but want to go back. My anxiety was high the first day but then I started feeling more comfortable being around women like me. I even raised my hand and contributed to the class! I tend to put things off till the last minute and then panic. I also have big ideas about what I want to BE (lawyer, writer, social worker), but not realistic about what I can achieve short term. One step at a time is my mantra now. Get up, get dressed, foot out door, etc. and focus on getting through the day working towards your goal and not panic because I didn’t become an MD in two days, know what I mean?

Please don’t give up hope. You can do it.

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[Anonymous]

I supose i’ve been so panicked by the money situation I haven’t been able to see this as the blessing it is. I do have a chance to learn something new. I need to take it slow and try not to be overwhelmed by all the choices. I too have become a hermit, my house is a mess and Ijust getting up dressed and out of the house can be very very difficult. I will try to to be easier on myself and use this site as a tool to get through the day. Today I don’t feel so close to the edge Thank you both for that .

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[Lindstr7]

You’re welcome, stay in touch and let me know how you’re doing. I’m kind of in the same boat.

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[Anonymous]

It’s very typical for those of us with ADD to have a messy home and find it hard to push ourselves to go into an unknown situation. I have been where you are with the panic because of lack of money. You are really not alone and it’s not your fault. It’s the ADD. One thing I keep reading is that so many people say they are on anti-depressants. While these are helpfull, the specific ADD drugs like Adderall and Strattera are absolutely more of a help because they work on the part of the brain that shuts down for us when we get overwhelmed. I take Zoloft (anti-depressant) and Adderall and Strattera. Keep reading about ADD and get the right meds and you can make it!

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[Anonymous]

My family all has ADHD… We were never out of work… We are better being our own boss.. my sister”s did was run a cleaning company.. It is very easy to start up… Advertize using green products..She would get paid 20.00$ anhour… She was a good cleaner… Plus you can be a shopper for people who can’t get out of the house . Another thing is Get a digical Camera you can get a good one last year model I bought a really good one for around 350.00 and do wedding’s…. I knew someone who took it up and with the digital it tells you how to use the camera very user friendly… You don’t have to worry about that part with my card I can take about 2,000 pic’s so out of them you can find good shots…You can get a small computer to work on the photo’s at home… One lady advertize with in two weeks she had her first wedding.. She would make good money to the point of quiting her job…. There is house sitting for people who has cats and dogs… Just get a crimmal check down…It’s good for people that want to go down south for a couple of weeks or the weekend.. People go away for winter months and they have to pay people to check there homes a walk about someones home which takes only a few min charge 25.00 some people go inside and even spend the odd ;night. I live in Chester N.S there are alot of rich people that are only here for 2 weeks and they own a million dollar cottage and I got paid for one day of babysitting 100.00 for six hours… Do babysitting just need a couple of refence’s people with money will pay good and love an older baysitter to sit… this women I knew about twenty years ago made about 350$ a month and people payed her very good… We always think we have to work for other people but We has people with ADHD need to be our own boss…. I heard on the news this women that started to set people up in different place around the city and they sold hot dogs… And she was racking in profit in her pocket 5,000 a week… Don’t panic just think about what you can do and think outside the box… Clamdigger

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[Anonymous]

This is a painting I did I call it the Devils Hold that is how I feel about ADHD……..

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[Shadow Nexus]

If your in a country with public help, ask about it.

First, get on food stamps RIGHT NOW! You might qualify, get in the car and go. Second, sell off everything you can part with on eBay and Craigslist. Find a 99cent store and Ross, do all your shopping there. There are good and bad values. Takes time to learn the tricks. Priority one is to stall for time. Also, I have lots of materials on small business creation.

I’v been micro-budgeting all my life. I’m a grandmaster at it. Ask me.

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[Lindstr7]

Clam….I love your entreprenurial spirit! Those are some great ideas. My neice does the wedding thing and is making decent money at it. I agree that we make our own best bosses. I am going to take some of your ideas under consideration. Post more!

p.s. I really like your painting, you are very creative.

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[Anonymous]

Great answer Clamdigger. Cheers

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[Anonymous]

Clamdigger,

Thank you for all of the ideas. I started a child care facility in my home that was very successful for 8 years then collapsed due to burn out. I recently started a cleaning business using only the nontoxic cleaners that I make myself but I chose the wrong partner which led to missed appointments and theft. I quickly ended the partnership/friendship and business.feeling betrayed stupid and embarrassed. I was left defeated, depressed and have spent the last year lost and in solitude. I am also an artist and have had my art in several shops in town but haven’t sold any. I get lots off oohs and ahs but no sales. I started school last week so far so OK but i’m having a really hard time getting up and out to class every day.

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[Author]

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