Resident going on about the merits of building self esteem

[Bibliophile]

Self esteem is a big thing, in which your life depends. You can’t earn it you can’t borrow it, it is placed inside you. And never dare to loose this.

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[Bibliophile]

I saw a resident yesterday as my doctor was unavailable (My clinic is in a teaching hospital). The resident went on and on about how I need to boost my self esteem and was unconvinced in the benefits of drug therapy, which he recognized would treat the symptoms of ADHD. I am presently on 10 mg of Adderall Xr. My biggest issue these days is dealing with my anxiety related issues. I think he has it backwards, my self esteem is so poor from years of underachieving and failure, not that I am feeling like I am underachieving because of low self esteem. He recommended talk therapy, i.e. counselling. I am not saying that it won’t help, but I am skeptical that this will help with my anxieties and self esteem. The latter would benefit from a series of tangible successes, not talking about things.

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[Anonymous]

All these years we’ve been told if we just “try harder” we’ll get over this, like it’s just a problem of self discipline. If we can’t solve our real-world problems by “just trying harder,” how are we expected to solve our emotional problems that way?

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[Anonymous]

You are the only one who knows if the drug therapy is working for you or not. It either helps you stay on task or it doesn’t. It helps you when you want to focus or it doesn’t.

There is hardly anybody who doesn’t have some sort of self-esteem issue at some point in their life. Talk therapy is certainly helpful at times, but you might be better off with a coach. Therapy might help you figure out the cause of your anxiety or you may learn to stop negative self-talk, etc. But you hit the nail on the head with your comment about success.

Maybe you would do better with a coach. If I could afford one I would hire one NOW.

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[Anonymous]

Self esteem is a huge issue. We discuss this in detail here:

http://totallyadd.com/sponsored-video-3-holistic-treatment-approach

Sometimes you need a coach, therapist, priest/rabbi, mentor or someone who will make you accountable. Meds can sometimes make it happen too but it must always be integrated with the psychological agenda.

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[Anonymous]

I have been in talk therapy since I was 20. I’m 40 now. No one ever mentioned ADD, just depression, anxiety, thyroid, adrenal burnout etc. Those meds helped but not enough. I have not been diagnosed through formal testing. Just got an initial evaluation yesterday with a neuropsychologist who took a history and said she was torn about me because I have a lot of the symptoms of executive functions being somewhat limited, but coped really well, especially in school. I went to law school and graduated cum laude, but have not been able to succeed since I left school. I attribute that anomaly to the built in structure and limited responsibilities of school. Plus it was an intuitive playground for me. Just figure out what the teachers want and give it back to them.

Anyway, my biggest problem has been underachievement since school, and total lack of organization and time management my whole life. My life has always been chaotic–room a mess, total drama in relationships, procrastination and not finishing things. I was able to make it work in school–barely. Since then, my self-esteem has plummeted.

The psychologist I saw yesterday was TOO focused on meds. I asked, okay, assuming I get a formal diagnosis, what then? There was no talk of finding what you are good at, building self-esteem, focusing on your dreams and coming up with organizing solutions. I would have liked to have heard some of that aside from, take some meds and you’ll do better at the things you’re not good at.

Having said that, so far, talk therapy hasn’t gotten me far enough. I think I need something to stimulate the percolating powerhouse of energy that is within me, just out of reach.

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[Anonymous]

I know what you’re going through. I’ve been seeing therapists for years who diagnosed and prescribed all sorts of things without ever thinking about ADHD. It seemed like everything just made sense when ADHD was suggested. And my reaction to the stimulant medication (it does a little bit to calm me down and focus) seems to verify that.

Finding the right treatment is confusing and baffling enough without ADHD. It seems like days and weeks and months of trial and error, making discoveries without any assistance from professionals whatsoever. I do believe that proper treatment consists of therapy and medication (though medication does not work for all – I can only tolerate a little). It’s a challenge.

But one helpful phrase comes to mind: “Keep climbing. You may never reach the top, but at least you’re headed in the right direction.” As long as you are working to help yourself get better, you are doing the right thing.

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[Anonymous]

Unfortunately, adhd is not like having bad eyesight where you can just get glasses and the problem is fixed. The meds, sort of have that purpuse and help your brain be a little more in focus, but there is alot more to it then that. The inter-relations between adhd, the consequences of it in our lives, the impact on self-esteem and confidence, the psychological impact it has on us is another ordeal.

If the doc gives you x amount of mg of a certain med, it may work on the brain, on the dopamine level, but it is not addressing the other consequences/issues adhd has caused along the way. Seeing another specialist, a therapist, a life coach or what not to help you to understand and help you with these other factors could only be beneficial.

I guess you cant fix everything with a scredriver, sometimes you need a wrench or a hammer to get it working. This talk therapy might be just that, another tool to help you get better. What do you have to lose?

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[Anonymous]

Bibliophile:

I agree that therapy is absolutely worth a shot. although it is true that therapy is just “talking about it” in one sense, it is also important to realize that trained professionals are able to hear patterns over time that can add an enormous amount of clarity to otherwise bleak circumstances.

I believe without a doubt that medication is an absolutely critical, and effective tool in this process – but therapy may provide a surprising amount of help and insight. I am definitely on the side of “try both”.

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[billd]

Analogy (sorry, it’s a bad one but the best can do tonight)

Your car is broken – or rather the engine is broken. It won’t run. Problem is, the mechanic can’t get to fix it because the hood is closed, it’s an inside hood latch, and the doors are locked.

Meds can be the key to unlock the door. Just like a lock and key, not all keys will work in all locks. It might take time to find the right key to unlock the door.

Once you find the right key and get the door unlocked, it’s then up to you to pull the lever to open the hood and allow the mechanic (the therapists, coaches, etc.) to help get the engine running again.

KEEPING it running smoothly in the long term is up to you –

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[Robbo]

I’m just posting this for anyone who has a similar problem as the original person that started the topic/thread.

This whole thread sounds like the perfect combination of tools, treatment ideas, and good perspectives. The only thing I can add is to be extremely critical about what “mechanic” works on the engine, getting the right locksmith (psychiatrist) to help you unlock that key from the inside (medz is the key) so then a mechanic (therapist) and or possibly both a psychologist and therapist can work together. Be sure all you team of doctors are in sync with each-other. Keep as much copies of the medical documentation and records as you can. Doctors come n go, they move. These records are your property and you have a right to a record of all the work being done on you (for today, you’re a car, hehe) An ADHD coach sounds like one of the key players on the team of professionals that you may need. Watch the ADD coach video on this site, it’s good. Think of yourself like a Nascar car. They don’t have one mechanic do they? it’s a huge team in the pits. {how funny, you have go be in the “pits” to get worked on! lol} and the driver has to be very much involved with every single one of the mechanics. Right down to the guy who chooses the rubber and changes the tires. (this might be your athletic trainer, or just someone helping you at the gym, exercise definitely will help).

The part about the resident sounds like a red flag for me. With this problem (ADHD) you probably need a seasoned professional. A team of them…

I bring tons of experience with doctors of all kinds to this table. My spinal cord injury is just as complex as ADHD, I’ve tamed that dragon, mostly. Not on my own for sure. One thing I can tell you is this. Residents are DANGEROUS!!! I can only draw from my experience. That’s the experience of a 31 year old mad man who dealt with undiagnosed ADHD, had real depression too. So the ADHD was helped a little with antidepressants. The depression is not really much of the problem any more, because I take the right medz for that. A lot of therapy in addition has sort of kept my car on the road so to speak, but never at my full potential, ever. Then I got hit by a truck and all bets were off for a while, I didn’t deal with it very well. Not being able to sit still is a little bit harder in a wheelchair! lol. Probably about 7 or 8 years ago I started working much harder at getting my life in order, or maybe I just started finally getting better help. Getting spiritually healthy, to me that’s the key to becoming mentally healthy. But the car (me, I know you get that. just want to be clear) still is not running at it’s full potential… Slowly, gradually changing dosages has been a long difficult path. Now I’ve just got to be patient while we find the right dosage for the ADHD. I may need some therapy or an ADHD coach after that. We shall see. It’s the same with you. In the meantime, take advantage of the tools here. If you haven’t seen the documentary ADD and loving it. that’s a good place to start, watch the videos here, read… read a lot! because this is a complex thing we have. We are a little bit like Nascar cars, not a bunch of cookie cutter ford f-150’s. I haven’t met many people in the world that are “all the same”. it’s especially true with us. Nascar car doesn’t mean better than other cars, just different, much more complex. Difficult to keep tuned.

This page is kind-of a team of people recovering from adhd, helping you choose your professional team. Plus one true professional on this page with us. I hope this was encouraging Bibliophile, if you actually do read it, it’s a month old.

Here’s my main point- It’s really throwing the dice letting a resident of any kind help you with something like adhd, IMHO. That’s more risk than even I would be willing to take, if I had any choice in the matter. I do still have that adrenaline junkie DNA in me. I’m pretty sure I’ve tamed that dragon as well.

Choose your team of ADHD pro’s wisely, I can’t imagine just one doctor helping you with all this. I couldn’t possibly count all the different kind of health care pro’s I’ve had to fight like crazy to make it on time to see. I should look at getting to places on time like a sport! I just thought of that… hmmm. I gotta remember that!

It sure ain’t boring having ADHD huh? lol. Good luck.

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