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Carrie breathe. You are not alone. I just don’t invite people over. For the Easter Egg hunt just try to do better next year. Take Should Have and Would Have out of your vocabulary. And another book for a disorganized person is just one more item to have piled in the mess.
For kindergarten child you need to put all the items in the backpack. As he is now a big person he can be responsible for that. If the teacher said to make sure he had extra runners and they can’t be kept in class you can make sure he finds these and starts to keep them packed and ready to go. Then you are at least trying to train the kids to not follow in your footsteps. And a kindergarten child can help supervise the picking up at the end of playtime. They love to be the boss of the younger ones and this is a natural inclination to be the teacher. Use it to your advantage. Maybe DH can be responsible for reading the school newsletter and relaying the important parts to you. Or ask that you only get the news about the kindergarten class and forget what is going on in every other class. Then any important announcements are there. As for homework, I found that the best time to do this was immediately following school when they are still in work mode. So sit this child down for the 10 minutes or so and get him to complete whatever they sent home. This is good practice for later. If they are at a sitter after school even better. Then you can designate someone else to make sure work is completed and in the backpack for the next day. A communication book is also a good solution to keep you in touch with what is going on at school. The teacher fills in a note and you reply if needed. They can also give you a list of things that the child needs and then you can send them to fill up the pack when you get home.
As for everything else that is overwhelming you, stop. Breathe. Then pick one thing everyday and just see what you can accomplish. It doesn’t have to be for an extended period of time. Just the first thing that catches your attention. And then get the kids in the act so that they know that they are not mess making ornaments. I know tasks are easier without them but it is important for them to know that when there is a mess they are part of the solution.
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Good advice Curlymoe! Especially the Breathe part
Carrie you are where I was when my kids were little, only I had no idea about the ADD so you are way ahead of the game and things will get better!
Just wanted to add the following in terms of time management because it seems like your life is very hectic. I’m still working on becoming as efficient as I would like but have found the following is really starting to work for me :
1. I recently found that if I look at things more visually when planning my day or week it goes a lot better, so started to use one of those planners that have the time set out in 15 minute increments and is in a week at a glance format.
Draw a square to represent the time range of your task or appointment. In other words, if you have an appointment at 2 PM, don’t just write it next to the spot for 2 PM – outline a square to represent the amount of time it will take, say from 2-3 PM. This will give you a much better graphic representation of how much time you really have for the day.
If I don’t plan out the day very precisely it all goes to pot. That means from time to get up, leave the house, when to take out the garbage, cook dinner, go to bed, whatever.
Planning in driving and waiting times really puts things into perspective as does planning backwards: have to get there at 3, means leave by 2, start getting ready at 1:30 ( get dressed, lock up dogs, gather up required materials), stop my previous work by 1:20, etc. etc. Suddenly that 3 Pm appointment doesn’t seem to far into the day and I realize I have lots less time to do other stuff than I thought.
The planner also has squares on the side for notes etc. I use this to plan ahead with tasks I know I have to do in the week coming up but haven’t had time to schedule yet or are flexible and can fit around more urgent things, or may depend on someone else’s schedule.
2. Schedule tasks for a specific time, don’t just make a to do list. This way you are committed to getting them done and they don’t end up as a wish list.
3. Set aside a time to review your agenda. I do it the night before to make sure I don’t forget I have an appointment and to get me in the right mindset for the next morning. On the weekend I plan ahead for the coming week. In addition, I have an alarm set on my computer and phone to remind me to check my agenda at 9 AM and Noon ever day to keep me on track.
4. If you have a huge problem area in your house – say the basement or guest room from hell – make it a project. Plan out exactly what needs to be done, estimate how long it will take, add in 20-50% error factor, then decide when you will do it. If it’s a huge project you’ll probably have to schedule in a few hours at a time over a period of weeks or months.
Don’t get discouraged, the first time I really tried this I underestimated and the whole thing took double the time. But it got done in a matter of 10 days and was something I’d procrastinated on for 15 years.
Anyway hope the above helps,
According to my schedule it’s past my bedtime
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DrowningCarrie2011-04-24T15:19:03+00:00
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