Worried that stimulants will exacerbate my anxiety, but desperate for relief

[Anonymous]

I have had concentration, working memory, forgetfulness, and time management problems my entire life. I have always been “hyper” as well, but that has never been severe enough to impair me (except maybe socially). People either find me amusing or obnoxious lol. I have always been able to compensate with just spending extra time (a lot of it) on all activities of concentration (ie school work). However, with my new career I can no longer compensate. I am spending 11 hour days, trying to finish up 6 hours of work (salary is a bummer!). I need to work 8s or lose the job! I am trying so hard, but getting nowhere! (I also recently got into a very serious car accident where I was hospitalized with 4 pelvic fractures for spacing out and running a red light!!!! I got into a similar accident when I was 17. I nearly got into another one today. I could die or injure someone else!!!!I got Methylin ER 10mg from my PCP today. He wanted to give me strattera, but I’m pretty desperate for quick effects for the sake of this job!

Worry…. I am a high anxiety person! (I have been diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder and been accused of OCD- I think I check things so many times because I am so absent-minded!) Hyperactive too (but maybe that is ADHD). I am terrified that I will skyrocket to the roof and my brain will explode from anxiety. I am not even a coffee drinker (coffee makes me anxious). I am going to try it on my day off of course. My biggest worry is not having a day full of anxiety attacks, but rather the possible fact that I am stuck with my dysfunctional brain and will never achieve what I want in life!

questions:

– anyone else with GAD or other anxiety disorders? could you tolerate a stimulant?

this is embarrassing…….

-anyone have a problem with daydreaming on the toilet or shower? I lose an hour + of my day dreaming on the toilet and completely lose track of time and focus back into reality and my legs are numb! I take 45 minute showers because I just space out and think about life. This is so intrusive that I only take showers about 4 times a week because I just simply don’t have time. My friend recently got very frustrated with me because it takes me an hour and a half to get ready to go on a short day 3 hour hike. I honestly have no clue what I really do with that time. I waste so much time in life!!!!

background: 27 year old nurse practitioner.. I live a double life.. I am not a real adult!

who does not feel like a real adult because…

I cannot force myself to go to bed before 3am on non work evenings..even before early mornings it is 1am. I like to sleep in until 11am rolling out of bed in a fog all day.

My house is a disaster. so much that I am considering paying someone to clean it for me.

I have trouble keeping myself stocked with food

i waste so many days getting absolutely nothing done

I get bored of men who are ‘real adults’.

wow. I just got distracted for 2 hours and forgot this post was unsent >_<. Facebook is the devil!

thank you to all who reply!

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[trashman]

hi I am a truck driver hauling chicken guts . it does not seam to matter how hard I try I am still screwing up. I have big spills and little spills. and very anxious about it all . the add meds and the effexor keep me plugging along. I don’t know what to do if I don’t drive a truck.

as for your living a double life you are so lucky to be able to pull that off.. I think you should be proud of yourself for all you get done and have accomplished . I have to say I take 108 mg of concerta(ganeric) a day and without it I would get nothing done. I work 12hours a shift. two weeks days starts at nine am and twoweeks evenings – nights. I am lucky my family keepsme ontime.

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[Anonymous]

One of the biggest time-wasters for me was Facebook. When the press started illuminating the privacy issues, I deleted all of my data (it took several days) and gave it up for good. That was about 1 year ago – YAY! You might ask yourself if you really need to be on Facebook.

Buy yourself a LOUD kitchen timer and take it into the bathroom with you, set it for 5 minutes and respect the alarm. It might be helpful for the shower as well.

Good sleep hygiene recommends that we should go to bed the same time every day and get up at the same time (including the weekends). I’ve had sleep issues for my whole life and have struggled with this, but to be honest, I do much, much better when I follow a strict sleep routine. There are many other things I’d rather do, but I need a good night’s sleep more. Is Facebook interfering with this too?

We have the disaster-house syndrome too. We’re working on it, since it’s spring and good weather, we are tackling some of the bigger issues out doors right now, but eventually we will have to deal with the inside. I posted on another topic that we bought 3 whiteboard/dry-erase boards and put them in strategic places in the house, each one has a different purpose. My husband has ADD too, neither of us have had formal diagnoses yet although I’m in the final stages of assessment. He checks the board himself now, and even adds things to it. This might be helpful at getting you organized. The time you spend on Facebook could easily be directed at a few household tasks.

I use a website called hassleme http://www.hassleme.co.uk/ to remind me about things I need to do that are not everyday events, like cleaning the toilet, etc. It’s a free service, you just tell them what you want to be reminded of and how often, and they send you random reminders around that time.

Is there anyone you could carpool with to work? I got a very stern warning from the ADHD psychiatrist about non-treated ADDers who drive. I have had many close calls and speeding tickets over the years, the last ticket was a really big one, but still I feel the urge to speed and I know I’m distracted at times. Very risky! I’m hoping meds will help me be more focused and slow me down.

I’m not really picking on your Facebook habit (it might not be as bad, but you may space out on Facebook too), but it’s a good example for me since I used to spend a lot of time on it, for no good reason!

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[Wgreen]

SG, you should change your handle to “Poster Boy.”

The problem with ADD is there’s rarely a quick fix. It’s not like acid reflux. What’s more, if you see five clinicians, they’re likely to suggest five different strategies. In the mean time, you watch your life fall apart.

As for the stimulants—why not give ’em a shot? If they cause an uncomfortable uptick in anxiety, throw them out. Or see if there is something else you can take that will bring it (the anxiety) back under control. The real danger for many on stimulants is skyrocketing blood pressure and the associated consequences. But you’re 27. Certainly check with a doc, but you’re likely safe on that score.

Alas, here’s the kicker: ADD/ ADHD is a disorder of the will, a neurological obduracy; there is a disconnect between what we want to do/accomplish and our ability to convert our intentions into action. Some inscrutable, sometimes sinister, force is at the controls. A forum offering advice for ADDers is almost oxymoronic, because we often can’t muster the will to take advantage of it. People tell us to change our diet. But we can’t. Exercise! But we can’t. Employ certain mitigating strategies. But we can’t. Make lists. But we can’t. Do this; do that. But… we just can’t. At least, not for more than a week or two. So, unable to change our lifestyles or habits, we despair. And we hope for a pill, any pill, that will help give us our lives back.

Good luck.

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[sdwa]

Just wanted to say the stimulants might not affect you the way you’d expect. When I started taking them, the first thing I noticed was how much calmer and more relaxed I felt. I’m 48 and haven’t had any adverse side effects like blood-pressure issues. You may have to try a few different meds to get the right one.

My house looks like a tornado hit. I can’t do my laundry until every last article of clothing is dirty, so there’s always that one day when I’m wearing something either very formal – or very frumpy. LOL. There’s never any food in the house. We don’t pay our bills until we get the shut-off notice.

I avoid driving because it freaks me out, and I know I’m bad at it. If I have to use the car, I go at a low-traffic time of day on side streets. Before diagnosis I felt shamed of this “fear of driving” but now I actually think I was being sensible and have good instincts for self-preservation – plus I don’t want to hurt anyone! If other people don’t get it, tough tiddly-winks.

I used to stay up very late but since I began going to bed earlier I find that I wake up very early and the beginning hours of the day have a special sweetness no other time period does, so it’s totally worth it.

The wasting the entire day syndrome is familiar to me. All I can say about this is that it’s not worth getting down on yourself about it. Activation is part of ADHD. You might start to notice, the next time you are inspired to get going on some project, what it was that got you started, and then see if you can re-create those circumstances in another situation.

What WGreen says about implementation – I agree. I think it’s kind of dumb every time I see advice about what we should do – because if we could do anything at all, we would have done it by now. But hopefully we can at least learn to understand we’re impaired and should ask for help. There’s no shame in it.

I’ve heard it’s good to post notes and information around, right where I’m going to be using it and where I will see it, and I’ve started to do that. Where our brains fail, we can build a sort of prosthetic-brain environment. I am hoping this strategy will prove to be effective in the implementation category – because forgetting what I had planned is half the challenge. The other half is feeling pressured or self-critical.

Oh – and – I just read that emotion is an important ingredient in getting things done. I notice I can do things for other people, or when I am accountable to another person, that I’d never do for myself. I need feedback. I wish there were ways to automate this, too.

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[memzak]

SG the timer thing is a really good idea. I have started using a timer for everything. Heating water for coffee. How long I am going to give myself to do a certain task. It keeps me from wasting too much time daydreaming. Sometimes I forget why I set the alarm if I start daydreaming before I can even stand up. I use my cell phone which has an alarm feature, a timer feature and a calandar feature. I use all three every day to keep me from wasting the whole day. I still waste most of it. What bothers me the most about the timer is that years ago I used to use a timer religiously. I timed everything just like I am doing right now. The silly thing about this is that when it came time to replace my kitchen timer, the price had more than quadrupled in a couple of short years and I did not buy a new one! Then I fell out of the good habit of timing myself.

Has anyone else out there had the misfortune of forgetting a good habit?

I just thought of something else funny. I still won’t pay to buy a new kitchen timer but I paid ten times the price of a new kitchen timer for a new phone. Go figure!

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[Anonymous]

Thank you so much guys!

Your advice is really helpful! Helps to get tips from those who relate. I’ve been getting a lot of good tips from this site. Even if it turned out that I do not have ADHD (I don’t have a formal dx), I could really improve my life following ADHD time management and organization strategies!

Trashman,

Thank you for your words of encouragement. I have accomplished a great deal . I am too fixated on my shortcomings! I have also been fortunate to have always been in a situation in which I can give 100% to school (and mental health recovery maintenance).

No-dopamine,

You are right to pick on my facebook habit it is excessive and I do space out in front of it. I need to just check it once a day. I can waste an entire day pressing the refresh button! I can’t stop completely because it is a bulk of my social life! The timer is an excellent idea. Those habits really really need to stop. Whiteboard is also a good idea, although I may just ignore it until the dry erase permanently stains into the fiber and makes me feel guilty every time I pass it (done this before). However, the timer is a must do! I think I would get angry at hassleme lol. Clean the toilet.. NOOOO! I need a roommate to keep me in line and give me chores!

Wgreen,

I have good blood pressure and am in good health. However, I do have a fast resting heart rate. My doc was not happy about giving me the med because I did rush in completely impatient in an emergency help me now mode. But maybe that is just how I operate? Lol.

I have lived a lifetime of “shoulds”. I do feel really motivated to take control of my life. I can’t continue to waste time like I do as I have reached a point in which I no longer have the time to waste. I just need to tackle one thing at a time. It is hard for me, but I am a really determined person.

Sdwa,

I save the laundry for that last piece of underwear as well! I don’t have ‘real’ food, but I have 10 boxes of cereal. (I got distracted and actually went to count). Accountability is very important for me as well. I was much more organized when I had a boyfriend! I can do almost anything when I am extremely determined. Although, it would be awesome if it were not so continuously difficult.

Memzak,

Phone = something fun

Timer= chore

I have so far resisted getting a smartphone. The last thing I need in life is another distraction and more opportunities to be online!

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[Anonymous]

Sugargremlin, do you know any of the reasons for your anxiety? I find that much of mine stems from the fact that I most likely have ADHD. My house is messy, and I get anxious everytime I see a pile of laundry or a scummy shower because I feel inadequate and I know I should do something about it. I struggle to cook regular meals, so I get anxious about whether the kids are getting enough nutrients. If we go away, I always get a headache on the day we leave because packing takes so much effort/attention and stresses me out. I have social anxiety, probably because it’s so hard to keep track of conversations and not make an idiot of myself. So maybe the medications will help the cause of the anxiety rather than make it worse.

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[Anonymous]

good question KrazyKat. I don’t actually know the answer to this. My history of anxiety is really complicated and I have had it since 4 years old. It began with some intense bullying from a young age. I was a weird kid with a speech impediment and impaired social skills. There is a strong family history of anxiety. My dad has OCD and GAD. My mom has GAD (and most likely some ADHD; inattentive so this confuses things). I have lived with worry and dread for so long that I have no idea. My problem is usually worry about me messing up life and possible or imagined consequences. I have OCD traits, but now I wonder whether this is ADHD-related. Do I check things because I honestly cannot remember that things were done or for actual careless errors? I think I can actually rule out OCD traits. I think checking is a compensation for actual worrying that I miss things from inattention.

Maybe I would feel a lot less anxious if I could focus? or if I could stop the anxiety that I must act on everything that is in my head or I will forget? or when I get so overwhelmed about everything I have to do at the same time and get paralyzed and cannot prioritize. makes for very interesting analysis.

Would I feel less social anxiety if I didn’t put people off by interrupting them and making often inappropriate non-sequitur remarks?

well update on first experience with methylin. no heart attack lol. I took it three hours ago and no anxiety! my heart rate is a bit increased, but no speediness. I am still tired and lazy this morning per usual. Actually, much less anxiety than I get with coffee, decongestants, and beta agonist inhalers. interesting.

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[Anonymous]

Great! Sounds promising. Keep us updated. My daughter and mother-in-law have GAD, as does my dad most probably, and I guess I am a pretty anxious person myself, though much of it stems from feelings of inadequacy due to feeling like I have never lived up to my potential.

It’s interesting that if I am with one of my children, I am less anxious about asking directions and stuff than I am when alone.

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[Anonymous]

hey sugargremlin, how are you doing with the Facebook weaning?

I am liking my whiteboards. The one I use for work is helping with the overwhelming paperwork, I just add stuff to the list and set the paperwork aside until I have to deal with it again, very good for the stress levels which reduces the “running-around-in-circles-spinning-my-gears” behaviour.

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[Anonymous]

hrmm…facebook…just signed off.. actually I am doing a little better with it. I am trying to get myself to just check the status updates once a day. Also, I am trying to just write responses off the top of my head without trying to say anything special. Huge time savings because I tend to get lost in thought and spend far too much time.

I decided today that I really really really need to make grocery lists. Do I really need to walk up and down every single aisle? did i really need 30 cans of soup (on sale)? Which is why I wait until i am completely out of food because I make it so laborious. At least, I didn’t forget anything this time.

oh never mind.. i did forget something important! I was going to buy a mini notebook to write down things I remember……lol.. I should be writing down things because I just get overwhelmed thinking of everything I need to do constantly. I can’t do everything in my mind at one time! I have a problem with paper as well. It is everywhere and I don’t know what to do with it all! I still think I would ignore a white board and feel guilty when the ink stains the board after months of disuse.

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[Anonymous]

Lol…sounds like my shopping experiences. I still walk up and down avery aisle, even though I make a list (I’d never remember anything if I didn’t have a list!!). I am sometimes prompted, by sight, of things I need but forgot to write on the list (in the loo, think “must put loo paper on the list”, and by the time I have finished int he bathroom, I have forgotten about the list) . I always manage to overlook one item on the list every time I shop, even though I check the list over and over. And it’s usually the one thing we neeed the most, or one that hubby wants – so often that he now thinks I do it on purpose to irritate him!!

I have a notebook I take everywhere. I don’t look at it much though. But I find it useful to keep lists in, like books I already have by a favourite author (so if I see one on sale, I can check if I have it so reduce useless impulse buying). To do lists have to go right under my eyes, or I will never see them. Stuck to the kettle is my favourite spot!

How are the meds goind SG? And the anxiety? I am ready to throw something right now. Tried to make myself an appointment but three tries later and I have not had any luck. I am running out of psychiatrists on my list. They are retiring, not taking new patients, or not answering the phone. Aaaarrggghhhhh!!!!!!!! My emotions are all over the place at the moment as a result and I have a headache that won’t go away. Not to mention crappy sleep

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[Anonymous]

Great post. Lots sounds very familiar!

Exercise til you drop. High energy people need activity, much more then the average type, IMHO. Without draining the energy and frustration completely a few times a week we would all be like this, normal people can drain their normal energy levels with normal daily activity and a busy weekend, you won’t hit tired unless you work on it.

Good luck!

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[Anonymous]

sugargremlin, that sounds like a good start to taming your Facebook addiction!

As for shopping lists, I manage to make them, even to put them in my pocket, but when I get to the grocery store, I forget to take the darned list out of my pocket!!!

Today my husband and I went shopping to get 2 things, bananas (for my chattering monkeys and me) and tomatoes.

We ended up with 15 jars of pasta sauce that were on sale. When I complained to my husband he said “this is a whole year’s supply, we last bought them this time last year when they were on sale”. 3 big bags of a great brand of tortilla chips since they are being discontinued. Some pomegranate juice because I heard something on the radio driving over called it “happy juice for office workers”. We also bought zucchini, tomato juice, lime juice, limes, mandarin oranges and a father’s day card.

Being vegetarians, it is really easy to avoid most of the store, but we still end up bringing home more than we thought we would.

I buy my toilet paper at Costco 40 rolls at a time, and make sure to get another 40 rolls when I open the last 40 roll pack. We keep them in the basement. There’s nothing quite as bad as requiring toilet paper in action 😯

As for the whiteboards, they can be useful for visualizing the lists. But the kitchen one is still in its package, my husband has to put it up for me since when I put holes in the walls, they tend to be way tooooo big 😈

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