Lying

[Anonymous]

So, I lie. A LOT. I do it mostly to cover when I have been daydreaming and get caught with my metaphorical pants down. I find that I would rather, nine times out of ten, make up a story or other diversion than admit I was spacing out again. I am wondering (or maybe hoping is a more appropriate word here) if anyone else can speak to this. I hate lying all the time, but I feel like my shame gets in the way of being really honest with people.

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[Anonymous]

I understand completely. I think a big part of it is anxiety that causes the stress that makes you feel as that you have to cover it up. This is what I have discovered about myself, something that has really been obvious ( one of those can’t see the forest because the trees are in the way things ). I found that from reading that some where around 30% of the time ADHDer’s have an anxiety problem as well. I found that said tricyclic antidepressants are or have been given to ADHDer’s with a positive response. I’m going to be talking to my Doctor about it tomorrow. We ( my Dr and I ) have been on the pill experiment wagon for some time now an found that I have a monster of an anxiety problem that seems to get in the way. The stimulants seem to not really work due to the fact that my anxiety goes through the roof when I take them. I’m trying Cipralex ( Lexapro ) and it does wonders for the anxiety. The ADHD is seriously wacked big time now. I’m back to having a hard time following a conversation again, by the second sentence I’m lost and if I’m the one talking…. It’s really embarrassing. I’m hoping that the tricyclic antidepressant does the trick.

I will let you know what happens,

Have a nice day.

John

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[Wgreen]

KT— I wouldn’t pretend to know why, but compulsive lying is fairly common among ADD sufferers. And I’m talking about lying for the sake of lying, not just to cover one’s butt (though there’s certainly plenty of that, too). I could offer theories, but they’d only be guesses. Suffice it to say, ADDers are prone to all sorts of compulsive behaviors, including gambling, shoplifting, and… lying.

I suspect this phenomenon makes it even harder for therapists to work with ADDers since patients often refuse to come clean about all their issues. And it can make it almost impossible for those ADDers to establish relationships—their partners quickly learn they can’t trust them to be honest about money, about fidelity, about anything. Alas, where there is no trust, there ain’t much.

As you say, you “hate” the lying. I don’t doubt that for a second. You just can’t help it. I’ll certainly give you credit for admitting something that many ADDers won’t.

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