Re: The hardest thing I've had to confront

[Anonymous]

To hell with shame. The only one entitled to judge you is yourself and you already know you’re

not qualified so scrap that idea and get on with step one up this new road you just found.

Later on, as you gain experience, you’ll get chances to make the same old mistakes again.

Once in awhile you’ll find you’re not dead after all and there are signs of growth here and there.

No hurry though. You have plenty of time to make the same old mistakes over and over until you

polish them to death and then start to get some successes by accident. You won’t be able to stop

it from happening no matter how well-developed and entrenched the old self-sabotage complex

was because you’re starting to kill it by feeding yourself instead of that brainless parasite.

 

Alone is just a cousin to Lonely, not it’s spouse. You can switch between them or just kick Lonely

out and let Alone wander in and out anytime. Separated, they add up to nothing. You only give them

power when you put them together and hold on to them as though they were your only friends. Once

you unlearn that habit you’ll find that you don’t need to “work” at finding friends after all because they

never stopped in the first place from coming and going on their own. Let them do that and you won’t

have to cling to them because the comings always outnumber the goings.

Friends are like moths and we are unusually bright lights. Most of them keep flying around but the

ones that land tend to stay put.

 

Fact is, you’re not numb or dead. That lack of feeling and closeness are just emotional scabs over

old scratches and scrapes which will dry up and fall off on their own once you stop picking at and

worrying them by occupying your time with this new project of yours, beating your ADHD. The fresh

skin thus revealed will be a bit oversensitive at first but if you’re expecting it, you probably won’t be in

such a rush to scrape and scratch it up again and the help from your doctors and meds will give you

what you need to give it fresh air, daylight and time to wrinkle up and match your inner character.

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