Re: Understanding a partner with ADHD

[Anonymous]

Njadd, my sister in law has a degree in psychology and has had many, many conversations over the years with her brother regarding his life. She knows when he calls, things have to be really bad. I talk to her all the time and she’s great making me understand what’s going on here. My own sister has a son of 19 yrs with ADD and she too is a huge help when I need it.

Curlymoe115. Thanks so much for the last post, that was just like talking to my counsellor! Who, by the way can separate his ADD actions from his childish ones. I find myself saying, it’s just his ADD, it’s just his ADD, breeeeeeathe……. it’s very difficult for me to recognize the difference between the two. And yes you’re right he would never answer my text when he’s preoccupied with work issues. He also has a terrible memory and will ask two or three times in the space of an hour what my work schedule is. (when he’s home) so I told him I would put up a daily schedule to help him. Oh and by the way, it’s the same every week unless I have a personal training client booked in. Last weekend I was involved with Ice Rescue Training and would be out of the cellular area, he called the house and got no reply, so he proceed to call his nieces who were staying with me that weekend to find out where I was and why I wasn’t answering my phone. He’d forgotten I had told him the previous night, so he sent an email apologizing……. which was greatly appreciated.

I find, when I finally tell him my feelings he will say “that’s not true” or “how can that be” or “that’s just stupid” it’s black and it’s white. It’s only after I have a total melt down and tell him I cannot do this anymore, that he finally realizes this is actually happening. He then consoles me and says ‘I know I’m not easy to live with and I don’t know why you stay with me, you’d be better of with someone else, I will try harder” and “I’m nothing without you” So now I understand your point when you said, I’m more like his parent at times

My husbands side of the family tell me I’m the best thing thing that’s ever happened to him. I keep asking myself, how? He doesn’t want me to talk about his ADD and I believe he wants me to act like it doesn’t exist. Can life really go on like this?

REPORT ABUSE