thanks kc, just knowing that there is someone who has gone through it all and is there is in a way sort of relaxing, I bought that book & gave it to my mother to read ( so she knows more about this next phase of life I would be entering and what problems would it entail and also know more about maybe herself and my fathers relation) but what I fear is that even though I would and even my partner would get to know about a lot of the adhd potholes but still we would in a way fall into many of those 
and also I feel why put someone else through all that when they could very easily marry someone else (normal responsible adult maybe not as kind hearted and creative 
but still living with them would be much more smoother) I know no matter what I do ups and downs rollercoasters this is going to be the way my life would go …………… by the way do you take meds for it? have they helped in the long term? and I often think what kind of a partner is best suited for someone with adhd ( my criteria are “affectionate” & “kind” & also “organized & calm & patient” 
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In India we have a system of arrange marriage more so than the love marriage thing, the doctor I saw told me not to disclose my adhd thing to the girl atleast too soon as that might put a label firstly and maybe scare her that I have some mental condition or sthg ; though I wouldn;t want that so ya suggesting this book might help, even after reading through it if she feels we can work it together – that would be great and feel moe honest to dive in such a relationship ……..
Thanks again kc , I will order another copy of it for myself.
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