Re: Stuck with not working on projects or hobbies.

[Anonymous]

Music saved my life in high school and beyond — it was one of the few places where I was all there, 100% invested. For two years I’ve been in a Christian rock band, and I am the worst musician in the band, and the least reliable, but I sing lead and play the guitar, and they seem happy enough I’m with them. All of these folks learned to read music almost at full speed, and they know every key by heart, and they studied and took lessons and practiced, and they didn’t do tons of drugs for years the way I did. I have had no patience for or ability to stick with the theory. But showing up every week for years and playing in front of people has made me much better. And I give myself credit: I spent some time and noodled for so long in high school and college that I became a passable musician and performance on my own initiative. I was able to hyperfocus and write original songs — but I can’t easily learn new songs, even songs I really like, because I have to download the music, remind myself how the tablatures work, slowly hack my way (boring, frustrating), and do this many times before I forget and have to start all over again. It’s one of the many examples of how ADD underlines both the best and worst things about everything I love. I also have never recorded any of the songs I wrote, and we are losing this one guy who is a virtuoso and could really bring these songs to life. I want to try to get organized and ask them to record this song list with me.

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