@ toofat
@ billd
“And why should you?? You only have to please you. Yeah, you have to live on the planet with others, but in the end, if you aren’t pleasing your self, or aren’t happy with yourself, will anyone else be?”
That little paragraph resonates with me intensely. I grew up EXACTLY the opposite. Naturally even as a kid my instincts would kick in to do what was best and live in a way that was best for me. That is to live amongst other people in this world but live life for MYSELF.
However it became a constant battle with my parents and brother . As a teen I was criticized EVERYTIME I tried to be an individual, i felt alienated and alone because I was called SELFISH, felt like I was bad for putting my self first. My boundaries were dismissed and as a kid I knew it felt wrong but had nothing else to compare my life too. I didn’t get it – I wasn’t hurting anyone, just treating myself with love care and respect – why did they act like I was being bad?? . It continued into adulthood- so it was never allowed for me to live for myself. I lived so as to not rock the boat…in fear of disappointing. My boundaries were crossed and recrossed to the point where they became nonexistant.
Finally of recent, I’ve come to see that I absolutely had EVERY right to have boundaries and I had every right to be an individual. I wasn’t being selfish, I was being human. So enforcing boundaries is new. The healing journey has begun – lol – I read a book called TOXIC PARENTS and it blew my mind! (unrelated to ADHD but it does make it even more difficult to deal with when you’re in toxic situation). Glad that at 28 my eyes are wide open 